I found myself bending over, while someone dragged their fingers down my spine. I slowly walked back to the class wearing my plaid skirt, round collar blouse and unfortunate weskit (vest) and forgot about it.
I didn’t think about this random, bending-over screening again until I read the book Deenie by Judy Blume.
I was so confused by Deenie’s choice to hack off her hair because she was so angry about having to wear the brace.
I remember thinking “What’s the big deal about the brace? She only has to wear it for a few years. It’s not her fault. “
Then I saw Sixteen Candles…
I laughed just like everyone else did at “Geek Girl #1” played brilliantly by Joan Cusack. GG1 is a more memorable character, yet she doesn’t even have a name.
At least THE GEEK, the OG of geeks, receives an additional title aka Farmer Ted.
I always found the parts with GG1 hilarious, until July of 2020, when I observed my daughters spine X-Ray.
Reels of Geek Girl #1 played repeatedly in my head.
To make matters worse, the doctor (recommended by the pediatrician) never came in to speak with us. Instead I had find out from this nervous, pipsqueak physicians assistant. His beady, little eyes were peering over his mask. All I heard was custom brace, follow up every six months.
The nurse, not the doctor, calls to advise me “The doctor said that your daughter has to wear the brace 23 hours a day.”
Me: So you want ME to get my 12 year old preteen daughter who cannot tolerate a TAG touching her body to wear a brace for twenty-three hours a day?!
Nurse: Yes. Okay then. Good luck. Call with questions…Buh bye now.
Now all of your inner-parental-bullshit-meters, may be saying, “get a new doctor”. It was clear she had to wear a brace, I already got the order. Yada yada yada…I had bigger issues at hand.
I had one kid starting high school, one starting 8th grade and the giant task of getting my daughter to wear the brace…
Let the battles begin.
Since she was supposed to wear the brace 23 hours a day, we were pretty much fighting all day long. She adamantly refused to wear it during school. Her argument: she already has braces to maintain, she has to wear a mask all day at school & she would have to remove the back brace to go to the bathroom and have someone help her put it back on. This is all during the peak of covid. I surrendered on that one.
Finally we were able to get her to wear it while sleeping.
She was miserable and angry. We attempted to have her go to counseling to process her emotions about scoliosis, she refused to talk. We attempted to have her go to physical therapy, called the Schroth Method for Scoliosis. When she had an appointment in the evening, she was a beast the entire day.
Her amount of tenacity was baffling.
My daughter was told at PT that “even if you wear the brace 23 hours a day, we cannot promise that you won’t have to have surgery.” After this, my daughter begged to have the surgery every minute of every day that she was awake. I would leave the house as much as possible, but not many places to go during quarantine.
July of 2020-July of 2022 the brace war continued. She grew five inches and her hip and shoulder shift was becoming visible, so we had to get a new brace. I finally met the doctor. He saunters in the office with his lab coat and I’m not kidding, wearing khakis with hardcore, Roadhouse cowboy boots.
At this moment, I was glad for the mask that hid my disgust at his arrogance. Cowboy boots in Chicago seemed so unprofessional and downright odd. He then tells us in a condescending manner that “since she only wore the brace while sleeping, she can throw the brace away because she needs surgery.” This was the final straw.
I was was ready for the surgery but no way in hell was I gonna let this drugstore cowboy touch my daughter. I delegated the “battle of the brace” to Dad to find a new doctor.
My daughter loves to tell tales of her father during this time… When her Dad “went full on Karen.”
Introducing the male version of Karen:
Maciej (pronounced Ma-Chea)
Well… after “shooting many messengers” debating with many doctors & pulling my daughter out of school countless days for appointments; Dad found a winner.
When it comes to your kids spine… “Going Maciej” is the only way to go, he got it done effectively & efficiently. No mercy.
Our daughter had the surgery May 30th, 2023 at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago. It was a success!
Overall, her new doctor, Dr. John Grayhack, was extremely smart, confident, sweet, funny & absolutely wonderful throughout this entire process.
Our daughter received exceptional nursing care, PT/OT and pain management/muscle relaxers.
She discharged on June 2nd. She had a rough three weeks at home with pain, not wanting to eat, medication withdrawal and exhaustion. She was instructed to walk twice a day and her body would adjust its own alignment. She was wiped after walks.
I told her pediatrician about the big dumb bohunk she referred me to and she deleted him from her system. She now refers to our doctor.
Follow up on July 10th with full release to normal activities. Just in time for her 16th birthday in August.
Sorry Jake Ryan, it is more important for her to love who she sees in the mirror.
P.S. I know some cool, fun, laid back Karen’s. Unfortunately your name is just an adjective for effect. Nothing personal.
Quillan Kelly-Dunn 