Author: quillankellydunn

I have always enjoyed writing and laughing, even as a kid. I love dialogue in movies and the power of words. I discovered my ability for writing in high school and did not consider it a "talent" until a few of my friends in my class brought it to my attention during essay tests. They would witness me writing away on a test and slap me and say "What are you writing? How do you know how to answer this? How do you have so much written so far?" I would laugh and shrug my shoulders. I was a terrible student yet writing was one of those things "I could just do somehow". In grad school I wrote a project for my group dynamics class and it was like writing a screenplay; hours went by like minutes. I was obsessed with working on it and became completely in the flow, lost in the story. My mom read it and was laughing hysterically, which made me beam with pride. After this project, writing became my passion. I have found writing as a therapeutic outlet for me as well since I am a mom, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) and a yoga instructor. I finally finished my first novel, a fictional coming of age story, which is loosely based on my family and our funny and not so funny experiences. My novel is about growing up on the south side of Chicago and the mentality that comes along with it; or maybe it's just me. I struggled for years with the fear of "putting myself out there" and worrying what people think until I realized that unless you put yourself out there, you will remain invisible in this world. A South Side Story is now available on paperback and kindle through Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Quillan Kelly-Dunn is my pen name. A South Side Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/1548863572/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LKoBAbNE0ZJND

2025 year from hell, Aging parents, Anxiety, Family disasters, Mental Health

Babysitting Blues

February 6, 2026February 9, 2026 quillankellydunn

This was us…. my siblings and I at the beginning of 2025…

Fresh start, new year! We were discussing renting a house together during the summer. Things were looking good!

My adult kids are always out or doing their own thing in their room. Around March, I was starting to feel stir-crazy and erroneously said out loud that “I’m kind of bored”. Ideas of going back to school or looking for a new job crossed my mind. I decided that I need a new challenge…..

For the love of God, do not say that you are bored out loud (do not even think it!) Also, do not mention you need a challenge. The Universe is always listening….

Soon after having that thought, my daughter’s senior year stuff exploded. We were spending money like crazy. Five days before graduation, my son informs me he needs help being moved out of his dorm that weekend.

Then, I injured myself and couldn’t walk.

My sister found out she needs a hip replacement.

In June, my baby sister had a different type of medical scare…

Meanwhile, our brother has a perpetual flow of weekly disasters that we assist in solving.

In July, my mom went from working full time and taking the train daily downtown …to a forced retirement at age 70. Her retirement was due to some medical issues and vision impairment from macular degeneration and glaucoma.

Somehow we got through the medical issues. We revamped her diet, got her on a meal, hydration & medication schedule etc. Unfortunately, we were very clueless on how to handle the sudden vision loss. This was a HUGE adjustment for her and for us.

She lost her independence overnight. All of her favorite things involve seeing.

We felt terrible for mom, but also frustrated because both eye conditions are exacerbated by untreated hypertension and diabetes. Mom took her medication on her terms, not the doctors. She watched her sugar intake but not carbohydrates. She put her job first. She couldn’t remember the last time she had an eye exam. Then states “it was before Covid.”

Therefore, both conditions were not managed. She developed something called metabolic encephalopathy. It caused her to talk incessantly, even in the bathroom alone. There was no filter.

My mom knows her way around her apartment well and claimed she could see certain things. It appeared to us that she could, but then she would do strange things; like pick up a diaper off the ground and ask “is this a hat?”

Some days she would get ready herself and look adorable, other days she would sleep all day and looked homeless when we arrived. Sometimes she would decide to go shopping alone without telling anyone. During one of her solo shopping excursions at CVS, she purchased a foundation that was 17 shades darker than her skin tone because it was on sale.

Mom decided to try this new foundation out at her great-granddaughters christening. She got a ride there from her grandson. When she walked into church, my sisters and I nearly knocked people over trying to get to her because we thought she fell and bruised her face…ummm no, it was just an excessive amount of burnt orange foundation.

Thankfully, people with babies have baby wipes so we scrubbed mom’s face, hands and neck clean in the tiny, church bathroom.

Crisis averted.

A few weeks later, Mom accompanied the grandkids to the pumpkin patch. Things were going along smoothly until my mom witnessed an dark-skinned toddler on a leash and innocently states “I didn’t know you could bring dogs here?”

The parent of the child on a leash overheard and went ballistic on my mom and then my baby sister. Thankfully, mom cannot hear so well either so she didn’t know what was going on.

At this point, we worked really hard at finding a caregiver during the day for my mom.

One evening in late October, my sister arrived at my mom’s and mom answered the door without a top on & wearing two different slippers. This is abnormal behavior for mom so she took her to the hospital.

Mom was sleeping but her enzyme levels were going up, indicating she was having a heart attack. They also discovered from her MRI that she had a stroke, called an embolic shower.

This caused a hilarious case of hospital delirium. She did not believe she was in the hospital. She would become furious when hospital staff reminded her she was.

Mom would state, “I swear, if one more person tells me I’m in the hospital, I’m gonna knock them out. I’ll kill em!” 🤣 (she’s a 110lb tiny lady)

The places she believed she was in varied, like a funeral home, her boyfriend’s basement that was decorated scary for Halloween, and camping.

We felt guilty for laughing, but what else can you do at this point? Cry and feel hopeless!?

So we decided to have fun with these hallucinations and roll with it. My brother asked her who she was going camping with?

Mom replied, “Oh ya know, the usual crew.”

Mom states: “I have never gone camping so I should go but I don’t want to. Russell is going.”

(Who is Russell?)

Mom then thought there was a little girl in her room dressed up in a Doritos costume and offered her some juice.

While she believed she was at the funeral home, she called me at 5am stating “I am really underdressed for this wake, can you pick me up. I am in New Lenox.”

Instead of reorienting her, I replied “so who died mom?”

Mom replies: “I don’t know, but I am trying to figure it out, I’m watching the slideshow now.”

She had to have a EEG and MRI. Whatever meds they gave mom, I want some. 🤣 She thought she was at a destination wedding in Maui and was telling us how beautiful it was.

Mom gradually shifted from the delirium to mania. This was exacerbated by caffeinated coffee. She would talk non-stop, so it would take her two hours to finish a meal.

Her 80 year-old boyfriend came to visit her and he was met with mood fluctuations of euphoria and anger. She began yelling at him for watching the Jayne Mansfield documentary without her. She then threw her blanket over her head and hid under there for a hour.

Her boyfriend knows better to keep his mouth shut when she’s angry.

After ten days, she was discharged to a rehab center.

I arrived the first morning to bring her clothes and my mom was whispering “this place is horrible and my roommate is a man! He’s huge with this deep voice. He would not shut up last night.”

Then I meet her roommate who is of course, a female, dressed in many layers because goes out to smoke frequently. She informs us that mom is her 27th roommate and she’s seen it all.

I don’t know lady, you haven’t met my mom yet. She is little but she is fierce. Especially if you turn the light on while she’s sleeping.

She was fairly cooperative at the rehab center except mom states “the staff think I’m a troublemaker.” She debated about exercising and she was enraged when they interrupted her while watching The Drew Barrymore show.

She asked us and the staff everyday when she can go home.

She was discharged home after two weeks. The regression of your parents and the role reversal that is experienced is not something you can ever be prepared for until you go through it yourself.

Becoming her caregiver did feel like babysitting at times for us. We would end the evening family group text with “moms all tucked in wearing her pull-up, Jammie’s and slippers.”

Mom became more herself at home, except now she wanted to go back to her old habits. Not eating often enough, then eating too much, wanting to hydrate with coffee and Diet Coke. The debating and arguing began, about her wanting cereal, pasta and beef.

She still would sneak off on her own to Calabria Imports, even though one sister meal-prepped weekly food. We only found out because she left the receipt on the table. When confronted, mom states “Oh here comes the detective, investigating what I’m doing!”

This is where we went bezerk on mom.

Mom would reply:

My sisters and I on the phone:

We found two caregivers, one from the state and one we pay out-of-pocket. She was rude to them too, but they weren’t her daughters so they didn’t take it personally and just laughed at her. After meeting with the kidney doctor, the fear of going to dialysis or losing a limb got mom to surrender.

Our youngest sister reminded us that Mom is doing her best and it’s pretty cool she still wants to live alone with caregivers. She’s a courageous lady. Mom is grateful now for her caregivers and her family who is helping her. I think now, she has accepted her normal age limitations and changes. Mom finally believes she is loved.

P.S. Always put your health first! Taking care of yourself and going to annual appointments are mandatory. Exercise so you can function later in life! A Job is not an excuse to neglect yourself!

Unrelated honorable mentions:

#Beyourself, sunshine & rainbows

Tragically Hip

February 2, 2026February 11, 2026 quillankellydunn

Now.. this is a story all about how…
My life got flipped, turned upside down…And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there and I’ll tell you how I became a hobbling mom cuz life’s not fair…🤣

I mentioned in my last blog about a hip labrum repair and impingement surgery I had mid-September 2025…

Well as Murphy’s law would have it, things did not go as planned. Thought I would share this story to prevent other people from suffering the same consequences. (You’re welcome)

I really liked the initial doctor who I was seeing since May 2025 and he completed my cortisone shot on July 3rd. He referred me to the head surgeon in the office for further treatment. I also enjoyed all the female staff who worked there.

One employee, Jill, was so funny and down to earth, I would leave with sore cheeks from laughing so hard. I considered asking her to go out for drinks sometime.

Me to Jill: Did we just become best friends?

However when I’m met the surgeon, I was disappointed. My initial thought was “he’s a douche bag.” I was not impressed with his handshake, demeanor or bedside manner. I ignored my first impression because I liked the staff so much.

The Surgery took place on September 17, 2025. I had one X-ray post surgery in the office, on September 30th. The Douchebagsurgeon (DBS) said everything looked good. I followed up with DBS six weeks after surgery, 10/28/25 and he told me I could stop wearing the brace. I continued with my daily exercises and PT twice a week.

I weaned off the brace, but I was still in significant pain and I thought I was walking weird.

I followed up with the DBS again on November 7th, advising him that something was wrong. DBS completed a physical exam and said to stretch and ice more. He did not take another X-ray.

I called the office November 25th advising them that I fell onto the toilet (because now my right leg gave out- it was getting sore from doing all the work). They scheduled me for an appointment on December 9th.

When my family witnessed the way I was walking on Thanksgiving…

They strongly advised I get a second opinion. I scheduled an appointment with a recommended physician. The soonest available was January 5th, 2026.

On December 9th, the DBS advised that I was experiencing muscular pain from my piriformis area and I could get a cortisone shot by his partner. DBS still didn’t take another X-ray.

The cortisone shot doctor was so empathetic and I felt heard. He was like “Guurrrlll, what are gonna do about this hip!?”

I’m serious, he really said that.

He took an X-ray of my back to make sure everything was ok and gave me the shot on December 12th.

After about a week, the piriformis area pain subsided. Instead, I began to feel more pain in the area that I had the surgery. At PT, they suggested I begin using a cane temporarily.

This is how I was walking for real…definitely not doing a somersault thou.

There was never a discussion about the use of a cane before the surgery. PT said that a setback is normal and I worked harder, silently crying doing exercises.

Now my husband was getting pissed watching me walk and said he will come with me to next appointment.

I demanded an urgent appointment on December 23rd.

I laid on the table for my usual bullshit exam and I said my leg is shorter than the other. The DBS was especially dickish about it. He whipped out the tape measure with an attitude like “I’ll show you.” He said it was only a centimeter off and that’s normal.

I advised that I cannot put weight on my left leg and I keep walking on the ball of my foot, not bending my knee. My husband inquired about this. DBS states to my husband, “SHE wasn’t walking like this last time.”

I reply, “uh, yes I was!”

Again no X-ray.

So I spent the holidays using a cane. It turned out to be a big hit with my nieces and nephews.

I hobble along through the new year, and attend my second opinion appointment on the first Monday of 2026.

I gear up for the usual explanations:

“You have to be patient, recovery takes time, sometimes 5-8 months….”

Within minutes of arriving at the University of Chicago orthopedic center, I am brought back to receive X-rays. They not only did an X-ray standing up, but lying down in various positions.

I meet Dr. Sherwin Ho….

Dr. Ho listens to me for about ten minutes, clearly already aware of what’s wrong.

He states “You aren’t crazy. Your hip socket is completely collapsed. You now have a condition called avascular necrosis (AVN). The only solution is a hip replacement.”

I said “I feel like my leg is shorter than the other”, he replies “that’s because it is! About a half-inch at least!”

I see his female colleague on January 15th. She advised “I do not know what caused the AVN, but if I saw your MRI from June 2025; I would have advised a hip replacement then. You will be walking the day of the surgery and it is a very active recovery.”

Hallefuckinglujah.

I leave with a folder filled with packets of information. This is where the anger and humiliating hindsight kicks in.

Example one: Pre-and-post surgery last year, I received one piece of paper in a folder. There was no official pre-op appointment, brace was not explained. (I just woke up with a brace on after surgery and the box to take home and read myself.) I had to rely on PT who informed me of what not to do.

My pre-op appointment at the University of Chicago/ January 28th, 2026: They completed another set of extensive X-rays and labs on-site. I met with another person who went over the surgery with me.

I met with a third person who went over my medications and the entire recovery process and then another doctor came in to complete medical clearance.

My Hip replacement is scheduled for 2/11/26 at UofC Lagrange. I meet with PT who gets me walking that night before discharge. I will receive in home PT for the first two weeks. They told me to schedule the rest of PT now for four weeks out. I am unable to drive for six weeks.

Red Flags:

For my initial surgery in September, I went to an orthopedic office that is privately owned by the surgeon. What I learned: if a surgeon owns the practice, he answers to no one. He makes his own rules. At a hospital like Rush, Northwestern and University of Chicago, they have numerous teams who think of everything from risk management to home care. Hospitals follow a protocol.
An X-ray should have been taken at each follow-up visit. Now I have no idea when this other diagnosis started. I know now I should ask and then demand an x-ray.
I was in a “hurry to get fixed” and didn’t take the time to get a second and third opinion. What I learned: always go with your gut and your first impression; always get a second and third opinion. Liking the staff should not be a deciding factor of who performs the surgery. I was in a “hurry” and now I’m setback another 6 months. If you don’t LOVE ❤️ your doctor, find someone else.
I didn’t feel like “driving too far” or “wasting time with additional appointments”. What I learned: distance should not be a main factor. If I took the time to research, I would have discovered University of Chicago’s Orland park office was actually closer
DBS states post surgery “your hip looked way worse than the MRI once I got in there.” What I learned: if a doctor ever says anything like this to you, you should go see someone else immediately.
If a guy confuses a centimeter and a half inch, you know what that means…

If I had continued to listen to the DBS, I would still be crying through PT and doing more damage to the rest of my body.

I know I will be dancing again soon but a lot wiser this time.

#freedom, #opportunity, American, march for our lives, Uncategorized

It’s Because I’m Green Isn’t it?

November 3, 2025November 26, 2025 quillankellydunn

There really are some ignorant, asshole people in this world.

What happens though, when you become “one of those assholes”?

When you “hate people” in general, this maybe a sign you need to check yo self. (Unless you are Larry David, because his hating everything is hilarious and refreshing.)

When this is not part of your general personality and you feel an NEW overall disgust for the human race, you may want to look in the mirror. Why am I so grouchy?

Why do you “hate?” Why are you so jaded?

I recently had an eye-opening experience like this. In May 2025, I found out I had torn my hip labrum and a nerve impingement. I have never experienced pain like this where it consumed my entire mood and life.

Plus, the boredom..,

With not being able to walk outside and do my regular stress-reducing exercise, active meditation of walking in the woods, I became a miserable person.

Then I had to have surgery in September. I had so many restrictions. I became a raging grinch. I had to find all new coping skills.

The daily gratitude journal, weekly counseling, physical therapy, talking with friends, TV, movies, books, & music helped me through it at first, but there was still this underlying sadness, self-pity, and frustration.

A lot of past issues/demons began to resurface, where before I would breathe them away outside and “walk it off.”

All I wanted to do was check out on the couch, ice my leg and numb myself with Netflix & instagram.

I forced myself to go out when I was not ready and I was a crab. I was rude and sarcastic.

I found myself making stereotypical statements like a grumpy old man.

I was very impatient.

Then spiraled into not wanting to go anywhere. I was losing it.

However, fear, racism, hatred and ignorance has been #trending, so thought “I was normal.”

How can you take action when all you can do is lay there and wallow in your pain?

Despite being completely aware that this is temporary and I’m not permanently disabled, I was still catastrophizing. Meanwhile, my daughter went away to college, I still had to work and help my mom. I was empty and depleted. In addition to trying to function, none of my clothes fit right…

Everything I worked so hard for with strength training. was down the toilet. I looked like a 10lb sausage in a 5 lb bag.

Now I was really ANGRY.

Someone has to pay for this. I want justice! I want vengeance! However, there was no one to blame, I had to accept that shit happens in life and it’s no one’s fault. Still, I “hated” everyone.

Thankfully, my sisters & my friends, provided me love, support and care no matter how I behaved.

They reminded me of the big picture.

So I did what I could do, instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do. I read more enlightening books and listened to more empowering podcasts, instead of watching instagram and the news. Watched funny movies and TV. I got a massage and facial. I watched the sunset. I shopped for clothes that fit me. I took small walks.

Then a female, Arabic woman held the door for me at Starbucks, so I paid for her order. A stranger.

Afterwards, I began to cry.

I was inadvertently reminded “Hurt people, HURT people.”

I forgot that I need to give in order to receive…

When people showed me love, I was able to give love back. When I received compassion, I was able to give compassion. Isolating and ruminating was getting me no where, except a downward spiral of misery. I forgot that there are people doing way worse than myself. I was hurting so I wanted to hurt others. I hated my situation, so wanted to hate others.

Even when things were working for me, I wanted to self-sabotage and be miserable.

Therefore, my hatred was checked and I was able to look within. I now have way more empathy for my patients who are disabled, elderly, and those in constant pain.

This “culture of hate” is running on the fumes of our own internal struggles/fear/misery and we want someone to blame.

If everyone works until they no longer can, pays their taxes, follows the laws/rules of our country and accepts the insurance provided by their employer; we should all be good. If you break the law, you suffer the consequences.

Some people truly are disabled and are unable to work and some would give anything to be able to work again. I think we can all agree that no matter what race, color, gender, religion or sexuality we are; our core values are the same.

The beauty of our country is in our differences and diversity. We are all immigrants or descendants of some. It is evident when we ask each other “what is your nationality?”

I mean, what does “American citizen” truly look like? Everyone can’t be born here. Someone had to come here first.

The hard work of Americans & immigrants is what built this country. Refugees come to America out of fear for their life. If you aren’t fearing for your life, then follow the citizenship process. If you are here illegally, then work, take care of yourself, don’t expect hand-outs or break our laws.

We have no idea what anyone has been through, so let’s have some compassion; we are ALL human beings.

Please increase the size of your heart this season and for 2026, consider a resolution of volunteering, paying it forward, compassion and empathy for others instead of judging and hating.

Make America Kind Again.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLu17xqxhGE/?igsh=Z3IxbGM2a2FwNG54

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPmKEv6Ejt5/?igsh=MTd6ajB5YnZ0dDVxaA==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOw-GwFkZTi/?igsh=ZDdrcDU3MHY1aDBz

#Beyourself

I Say Hurl.

October 18, 2025October 28, 2025 quillankellydunn

“I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours.But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.” Wayne Campbell

Vulnerability is metaphor of Blowing chunks… spilling your guts…putting yourself out there.

It used to be something people rarely did. Usually confiding certain topics was saved for close friends, family or a mass audience when you publish a memoir.

Now it’s OK to completely “hurl” it all over social media. The bad habit or trend though, is when people put themselves out there, share too much, or offend someone, they get “canceled.”.

Therefore no one can ever make a mistake. No one can ever be misconstrued or misunderstood. Many statements and content can easily be taken out of context. This may lead to paranoia about everything you say. Some people may end up traumatized, clam up and are never heard from again.

When that happens, they no longer share their gifts with the world; all their possible contributions end up in the “idea graveyard.”

I used to share anything with anyone pretty quickly. I thought it was just me, my south side upbringing and “I am just like this.” The older I become, combined with the more I learn, the more I recognize that it was a total lack of boundaries. A lack of boundaries is not a personality trait, it is a trauma response. Lack of boundaries is a symptom.

I thought the word “trauma” was only applicable for populations like veterans, POW’s, victims of sexual rape/assault/abuse, witnesses to a murder, survivors of natural disaster & 911… you get the idea.

What it really is…

“Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, experiencing or witnessing violence, death of a loved one, war, and more. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms.”

The sudden shut down of the world in 2020 is an example of collective trauma.

Who truly knows the long-term effects of this trauma had on kids, teens & young adults who got jipped out of their 8th grade festivities, graduations and other rites of passage.

Examples of long-term effects of trauma that you may relate to:

Growing up with hungry or a lack of food in the house…perhaps as an adult, you binge eat, over-shop for food and waste it. This could stem from not knowing when your next meal was coming or if you didn’t eat something, it would be gone. So now as an adult, you scarf dat shit down. “Clean your plate” as we were told…

No wonder why most Americans are overweight.

If your family life was chaos, your parents were always fighting, someone was an alcoholic or drug abuser… you learned to cope with unpredictable occurrences and stay calm in chaotic events because this became “normal.”

As as an adult “you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop”, you pick fights with your significant other, you are excessively stressed and anxious over trivial, normal problems, you get depressed, anxious or “feel out of sorts” when relationships/life overall is going good.

Your body/brain does not know how to cope with calm, stable, & predictable…Therefore, what do you think happens if you cannot cope and become anxious with calm, quiet, stable, boring, everyday life…

You self-medicate!

Over-drinking alcohol, over-spending, over-exercising, over-smoking, over-masturbating, getting high too much or become addicted to porn and inadvertently are no longer be able to ejaculate with a real person.

Others may numb out binging TV for too many hours, clock in ridiculous hours on their phone/social media, over-use prescription drugs, use marijuana & other drugs too much…

Some people learn how to detach from their emotions, become numb or “frozen”… those feelings have to be felt and go somewhere… hello chronic pain.

Sometimes…Headaches, autoimmune disorders, migraines, back pain, fibromyalgia, IBS, and other unexplained ailments could be stemmed from chronic stress & stuffing emotions.

Therefore, if you think you are overdoing it in someway in your life, please see a therapist and possibly a trauma specialist. In that case, with privacy, HURL!

Vulnerability is cool, but we all have to process our trauma safely and re-learn healthy coping skills to live a less distorted life.

Unfortunately, I learned all this at an online two-day conference by the author of “The Body Keeps Score” when I was 49 years old.

So…I thought I would share with anyone else who is unaware. Also please keep being creative and share your gifts with the world. With AI now, we need some original, human creativity. Shits getting weird at lightning speed.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJz3rVKTWWA/?igsh=NnJwY3M0b2lxc3E0

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJ6y6HNOj3g/?igsh=MTVndWVyZTU5ODJkaQ==

https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNBOZy3Cxxq/?igsh=M2ppbHF0bzQ3d2xu

https://www.audible.com/pd/0593412702?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp

#Beyourself, Find A Way, Health & Wellness, Let Them, Mel Robbins, Mental Health, Women's Fight

How much do ya need?

January 13, 2025January 3, 2026 quillankellydunn

Now that whirlwind of the holiday season is over and we are collectively experiencing a massive dopamine crash…

Let’s take a moment now to reflect and ponder…How the hell did we do all that?

Or maybe “What was I thinking buying that?”

The glow of the Christmas lights ignites a warm feeling in our hearts and a goodwill toward others. It courses through our veins like heroin. It’s as if the high of “giving the perfect gift” intoxicates our mind and clouds our judgement. We think with our hearts instead of our brain. Thankfully for our bank account, it only happens once a year. Yet, I still love every minute of it and will do it all again next year.

This year, however, it seemed more apparent to me than in years past, the weeks before Christmas are more of a rush than the actual day. The preparation for Christmas, the tree, decorating, shopping, & wrapping gets us excited. This excitement from Black Friday until 12/25 is a perpetual, steady, high like no other.

I noticed on Christmas day, there was a slight sting hovering in the background; mourning the loss of the “anticipation“.

Don’t get me wrong, my Christmas week was a blast. This was an ambivalent feeling of pure joy, combined with a lump in the back of my throat. I miss “looking forward to it”. I miss being excited. Must be aging…

This got me thinking… if I live to 100, I’ll only have 49 more Christmases. 😢

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEKp9XQxgq-/?igsh=MWo5Nzcyb21pN3h5dw==

While I was watching my annual Christmas movie selections; I noticed another surprising change. I found that I was annoyed with George Bailey. I’ve been loyal to him for 35 years so it’s tough to admit, but I have lost patience for him in my old age. He sounds like a whiny brat at times.

I have been identifying more with the true hero of the story..Mary Hatch Bailey. Mary knew what was going on the whole time.

Mary Hatch knew she loved George even as a young girl.

Mary whispers in his bad ear,
“George Bailey, I’ll love you til
the day I die.”

She was subtle and assertive when something or someone stood in her way.

Aka Back off Bitch, you can’t have ALL the boys in this town!

She knew where she wanted to live. She visualized and wished with her heart; it worked. Little did she know without the internet or Instagram, that she was manifesting dat shit into her life.

Most of all, she innately knew what was important and could see the big picture. She didn’t need a whole production of angels coming down from heaven and putting on a show of “not being born” to let her know what life is all about…

Mary stayed focused on her goals and didn’t pay attention what other people were doing.

When there was dilemma, Mary found a solution.

When the whole town was bankrupt, she “lent” her honeymoon money to the community.

She fixed up the old house to make it a “home.” She found a solution instead of whining about the cards she was dealt.

Am I still allowed to say she added
a “woman’s touch?”

She didn’t get embarrassed that her car was a p.o.s. or by what she was wearing.

Mary: “Why are you wearing diamonds and furs on a roadtrip?”

Mary had four babies, volunteered during the war and supported the well-being of her husband and kids.

When the $8000 went missing, she knew WHEN to ask for help from her friends. One person or family can’t do all the giving. She is aware that friendship is a two-way street.

She knew when to stop giving and to ask for help, she knew that pride doesn’t save anybody.

Therefore, we need to be aware of when to stop giving and start asking.

The key is, recognizing what is in your control and what is not.

Knowing when you need to LET others do what they are going to do.

Let others THINK what they are going to THINK.

Let people gossip.

Let people judge.

Let people display their true self all over the place.

Why? Because it is out of your control. Why expend the time and energy? If someone acts like they want to leave and doesn’t treat you the way you want, you can let them GO.

“Why don’t you GO HOME! aka GTFO George Bailey you lil bitch.”

Below is a link to 60 minutes of the best therapy ever (you can fast forward through commercials.)

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5mCeQEWX2CvRVId19mUyrh?si=F50whAw6Tqa3JWYN5zzdWg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1FgnTBfUlzkeKt

This podcast episode provides the tools and mindset on common situations such as: Dealing with a stressful boss, a break up or a divorce, when your children can’t get motivated or when you feel guilty about disappointing your family, or friends & more.

The game-changing concept that is also discussed “If every thought you had cost a dollar, would you keep thinking about it?” Would you keep wasting your energy if it cost money?

How much more do you need to know?

Other people are ahead of me in noticing this:

https://hopenation.org/why-mary-from-its-a-wonderful-life-is-basically-life-goals/

Book from the podcast:

https://www.audible.com/pd/B0DFMX1RT8?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp

Runners up on seeing the big picture:

#freedom, #homeschoolingrealshit, #teens, American, Anxiety, Autism, Find A Way, Health & Wellness, migraine relief, parenting struggles, prettyinpink, Women's Fight

Pretty Pink Poison

May 17, 2024January 16, 2025 quillankellydunn

Since I’ve been gluten & dairy free for 20 years, my binging on candy and baked goods has been a lot more challenging.

This is a good thing of course.

I found out about celiac disease, the gluten allergy, before most heard of it, in 2004. People would look at me like I was nuts when I told them.

It wasn’t that big of a deal at first because I still had the option to binge on dairy products like ice cream, gluten-free pizza, Frappuccinos, cheese, & yogurt.

Then I kept getting these scorching sinus infections & migraines, so I went to the doctor. She suggested I try no dairy for a while because it’s mucus producing. Dairy is also a huge trigger for migraines.

Unfortunately, that was the solution. I felt fantastic physically, however, mentally not so good..

I went into a deep depression induced by cheese-withdrawal.

(I still have reoccurring dairy-free-depressive episodes, intermittently triggered by not being able to eat pizza or a grilled cheese etc.)

Dairy-free cheese has not been able to cut it…Cut the real cheese. 😔

Dairy, soy and gluten/wheat is in almost everything, especially most delicious candy bars and chocolate.

Since then, my occasional go-to favorite candy is pink starburst.

I savagely rip through my kids Halloween candy each year.

*Never realized that Andy’s dress resembles a PINK STARBURST* 🤩 *She looks delicious*

I’m usually irritable the next day if I eat a lot of sugar. Sugar hangovers are real. I do my best to limit it. However some days I cave if I’m really tired.

Anyways, my son bought me a huge bag of all pink starburst. It was a sweet gesture, yet I was furious with him.

“Don’t bring that shit in the house, you know I can’t control myself!“

I say this to him as I am shoving pink starburst into my mouth & frantically unwrapping more.

The binge began…

The scrumptious starburst were gone in about eight days.. Everybody in my house had some, but I consumed the most. I was pushing them onto my family like a crack dealer.

I was so crabby each morning.

I was in a steady, simmering rage for four days, irate, snapping at everyone, & ready to pounce.

Whenever I would have these episodes in the past, I would chalk it up to my period.

However, I had a hysterectomy in November 2023.

Can’t use my period as an excuse anymore. ….(next post will be about the correlation between diet, menopause & hormones).

I felt like I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t focus and I was so agitated.

If I am a 49-year old woman experiencing this type of chemically-induced rage, what do you think would happen to a toddler/child/teen if they consumed these products.

I used to think red 40 and behavioral problems was a bunch of baloney. I am humbled to admit that I believe the chemicals, artificial colors, flavors & Red#40 in our food is poison.

It may not be the instant, fatal poison. ☠️ However, it is clear in how the body reacts to these ingredients.

There are tons of tik toks, articles, & posts about the correlation of diet, red #40 & behavioral problems in kids/teens.

There is also concrete, scientific evidence that this is true here and article at the end.

This guy below is a doctor (@docamen) and boldly posted this, so there must be some truth to it:

Garbage in, Garbage out.

Terrible chemicals in our food combined with overstimulation from electronic devices sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Where do you think these episodes cause the most issues?

At school, where you need to focus, sit still and be receptive to learning.

Sitting still in a desk for hours is already difficult, why add anything to make it worse?

Maybe after kids consume starburst, skittles, nerds, twizzlers, fruit snacks, cheetos, doritos, pop-tarts, gatorade, sour patch kids, gummy bears, fruit roll ups, pudding snack packs, jello, powerade, high-C, juice etc, at breakfast or lunch-you may see behavior like this:

I am communicating this because I clearly overdosed on red 40. As an adult, who forgets sometimes and eats this crap; it’s obvious some people are very sensitive to this FDA permitted junk.

The FDA to consumers:

A friend of mine, a teacher of kindergarten, sent me this text after my last post.

Another teacher friend replied:

*We can’t keep dumping this on*
*teachers & schools.*

I won’t bore you with the details and the conspiracy theories. Instead, wondering if collectively, we ALL could stop purchasing products with red 40. Hopefully companies will stop making it the poisonous way.

Or perhaps, it can be banned like it is in Europe & other countries.

It’s all really confusing:

These products are fast and cheap but there is no food in your food.

Looking at the ingredients in products before you purchase them is frustrating and time consuming, however, if it prevents us and our kids/teens from behaving like assholes, isn’t it worth it?

Something quick now is slowly poisoning ourselves over time.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5To1VsgHKq/?igsh=MTkybDRnY3B0ODByMA==

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2214750023000926

ADDENDUM 1.15.25 Yay

https://youtu.be/vDsWU1qV_0k

#Beyourself, coming of age

You are Enough

February 23, 2024 quillankellydunn

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Your skin is perfect, don’t touch it.

Listen to your mom and wear sunscreen.

Drink a glass water when you wake up and everytime you go to the fridge or cabinet.

What you are looking for isn’t in there.

Don’t over pluck.

Exercise. Walk. Run. Do push-ups

Do sit ups, & floor work instead of waiting for the phone to ring.

Start journaling how you feel.

Guys, alcohol, cigarettes, & food are not the answer.

High school is a gift, cherish every moment.

Listen more, talk less.

Ask others questions instead of blabbing about yourself.

Be a good friend to your sisters & brothers, they will be your foundation.

Listen to every word your grandparents say.

Be nicer to your mom, she truly is doing beyond the best she can. You have no idea what she has been through.

Hug your siblings, mom & grandparents more.

Everything you want in life is what you have right now…

#doitanyway, #freedom, #opportunity, #teens, #whiplash, Find A Way, sunshine & rainbows, Trauma

A Case of Whiplash

February 23, 2024January 16, 2025 quillankellydunn

The most difficult class I took in grad school was called Group Dynamics.

I walked in to a large classroom set up with thirty desks facing each other in a circle. The only person in the circle without a backpack at their feet, was a lanky, tall guy wearing a plaid shirt and navy tie.

He resembled a 45 year old Alex P. Keaton with Dick Van Dyke legs. His legs were crossed and he looked way too casual for a student. His elbow was propped on the desk and his hand held a pen that he clicked repeatedly next to his ear. He continued to look at each of us, yet didn’t say a word.

When the clock displayed the 6:30pm start time, no teacher introduced themself. It was odd. Five minutes went by without anyone speaking. The clock seemed to move in slow motion. The quiet was deafening and awkward.

After about 15 minutes, we all started looking at each other with that WTF-bewildered-look. Some raised their hands, no response. Students talked out loud, asked questions, some whispered to each other.…crickets…most students shrugged their shoulders.

We sat there in silence for 50 minutes. 🦗

It was maddening.

At the end of the class, the syllabus was passed around and the teacher left.

His name was Dr. Wolf.

The Assignment for the next week was to turn in five group dynamic observations we learned from this class.

But, we didn’t learn anything?

I scoured the book for hours all week trying to figure it out. I turned my sentences in, received it back at the end of class -grade 0/5. What?

Week after week I would relentlessly read and compose informative sentences only to receive a big fat zero. So I tried harder, read the chapter longer.

Continuous weekly ZEROS.

Each class, the silent Dr. Wolf would remain unresponsive, despite the students were becoming visibly frustrated, emotional, & downright irate.

When I received a zero on my test, my chest collapsed in devastation. I remember walking out of school into the January cold, sobbing. That Ugly cry. I cried all the way home and considered dropping the class.

Unfortunately, the class was mandatory in order to graduate.

I never tried so hard at anything in my life. Finally, I got angry.

I said “Fuck it.” I stopped trying. I stopped caring. I didn’t look at the book for a week.

After the next class, I half-assedly wrote down what I observed in the class. I relished in my passive aggression to the teacher.

Get. Bent. Dr. Wolf.

My statements:

1. “Without proper leadership, a group begins to look to each other for a new leader because their current one sucks.”

2. “Without direction or rules, a group breaks into cliques or subgroups and complains or talks about their own topics.”

3. “When the leader ignores the group, the members become frustrated, disrespectful, or withdrawn.”

4. “Without leader guidance, group members may want to leave the group.”

5. “Emotionally unsupportive male leaders may become strangely attractive to group members.”

The last one cracked me up.

Clearly, I got a thing for tall, lanky, emotionally unavailable men. 😉

I turned in these statements at end of class. I didn’t even wait until the next week. I wanted him to associate my face with my answers. I gave him an obstinate look as I tossed the sheet on his desk.

That following week I was excited to receive my zero. At least I didn’t waste hours of my time for this F/Zero. I hoped to see some type of expression on Dr. Wolf’s smug, stupid yet sexy face.

The paper was given to me with a

5 out 5-100% in red ink!!!

My neck snapped back like I was in a head-on collision. My temples throbbed like I had a case of whiplash.

Huh?

Then the epiphany…

Ohhhhh, he wants to know what I think, not what the books says.

I learned this without him saying one word.

I was also trying way too hard instead of seeing big picture.

“Work smarter, not harder” finally became clear.

From that day on, I was on fire.

Once I “got it” … I was unstoppable.

Imagine if I quit before it clicked. What a shame that would’ve been.

I learned more from this class than any other in my entire educational career.

Why?

Now this occurred 20+ years ago.

What would’ve happened if this class occurred in 2024?

Most would’ve just given up, dropped the class, maybe even changed majors. There was no instant gratification.

The giving up reasoning aka whining or excuses would probably sound like:

“It’s too hard!”

“He is emotionally abusive.”

“I’m being bullied.”

“The teacher is racist.”

“He’s a narcissist.”

These are paraphrased statements that I have heard from my own children and from other kids/teens; even adults.

Which I usually counter with “Maybe they are, but what are you learning from this?” as my mind flashes back to Dr. Wolf…

However, I never realized that at times, I was enabling my kids to use their feelings as an excuse; or making them feel too special so they thought they didn’t have to try.

My intention was to empower my kids, instead, I may have been fostering dependence on my approval.

I believe collectively, we all wanted to ensure our children had a more positive upbringing than we did.

Unfortunately, it may have gone too far and it seems to be backfiring.

As Simon Sinek states here & in the below link that this mindset could’ve been exacerbated we started to give everyone participation trophies.

Kids learned that everybody gets rewarded even if they don’t try, so why bother exerting effort.

Painful revelation

I am humbled to admit this:

When my husband encouraged my kids to throw away all of their participation medals & trophies, my kids (7 & 5) were crying, I erroneously sided with my kids.

I didn’t understand what my husband was trying to accomplish. He was ten years ahead of me. All I could see is how upset they were.

My own childhood confusion was prolonged by not having the “WHY” explained, so I convinced my husband to explain WHY he wanted the kids to do this. It made sense, sort of. I still didn’t see how this would have an impact on their future.

I see it now.

How else are they are going to learn to get back up when they are knocked down?

When things get tough, are they going to get back up or quit.

Are they going to keep trying after they fail, or surrender.

Ten years later…

The whip lashes back at me.

https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=simon%20sinek%20participation%20medals&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:95ca8e54,vid:GjcuELSTYA0,st:0

https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action

https://medium.com/the-outtake/on-demand-for-a-second-look-whiplash-864f3530be4d

#Beyourself, #freedom, #teens, coming of age, Mental Health

This Is Heavy

February 20, 2024February 20, 2024 quillankellydunn

Honestly, how many times a day do you think you think or say:

WTF IS HAPPENING?

Obviously, there are many topics currently, that I want to say wtf about.

One in particular, applies directly to us, to our kids and the future generation.

I thought it was established, especially during quarantine, that teachers are way underrated.

Teachers should make quadruple of what they are making now. Teachers should be treated like politicians.

I have many friends that are teachers, so this is a combination of stories that I’ve heard from them. There appears to be an ongoing theme:

No Respect for Authority

Sense of Entitlement

Expecting HIGH grades

with LOW effort

Little Value in Hard Work

We all had to start at the bottom and work our way up. There is no skipping this step.

One of my friends,W, went back to school while raising three kids. She now has a job as a science teacher at a high school.

W is one of those gifted individuals who can bring out the best in people, especially kids/teens. She can make them laugh just by a facial expression.

W sacrificed so much to earn this degree. W lost a lot of precious time not watching her children growing up to apparently raise other people’s children.

Gradually throughout her first year of teaching, she has appeared worn down, discouraged and burnt out. At times, it’s as if she lost her spirit.

Every time we go for a walk, W has some ridiculous story involving:

Students are on their phones during class and not paying attention. She has to repeat herself four or five times. The more she tries to enforce no phones, the more argumentative, irate and even aggressive the students become.

The students are rocking in their seats to soothe themselves from the absence of this device. They don’t know how to tell time on the clock on the wall. They keep asking her what time it is. They don’t know how to read. They don’t know how to follow directions. They don’t know how to think without googling the answer. It’s like they’re complete zombies without that phone.

The best story so far was when a female came up to W during class stating that she needs her phone so her boyfriend can call her from jail.

The female student states “He only has a certain time that he can call me so I don’t know what to do.”

W replied “Well, for starters, you should probably find yourself a new boyfriend”

Thankfully, the girl laughed & returned to her seat.

W is the only teacher that is enforcing a no phone policy during class, because the other teachers have understandably, given up. It is too exhausting. It sounds as if the faculty is perpetually in self-preservation mode & walking on eggshells around these teen toddlers.

W is presenting a new policy to the board to enforce an all-school-no-phone-use-during-class. Why? Because the kids aren’t learning when they have a phone distracting them. She CARES.

She is making a difference, but caring is taking a toll on her.

She’s had to break up fights in class, students are getting in her face, & other are students recording it. How is this fair?

If these teen-toddler bullies do not receive consequences and limits, they will just grow up to be an asshole.

It is scary that teens are now attempting to bully and intimidate adults/authority figures

Perhaps it’s because all the students are staring at their phones, they don’t have to interact with anyone around them. The only person that may be directly speaking to them is the teacher.

Teasing & Bully encounters can be good among peers. It builds character. It teaches a person to learn how to stick up for themselves.

Sometimes, when friends or foes make fun of you, you may learn to stop doing some inappropriate or annoying mannerisms in public. You learn how to speak to people, have a filter, & understand what can be perceived as rude or ignorant. It’s part of growing up, the socialization process.

We all need feedback.

This interaction is also good to prepare individuals for dealing with difficult people in the future. If you don’t experience this type of social banter growing up, you may end up being naive and fall for a lot of jokes/pranks.

What is going on behind-the-scenes in the mind of a bully:

No one deserves bullying however, these frustrating social interactions teach us something. Getting pissed off and fed up is motivating. Taking action to become a victor instead of a victim.

Speaking of victims, have you ever encountered a teacher that you were sure had it out for you?

Sometimes they do have it out for you. Some are micromanagers, bitter, resentful, angry, sadists or feel powerless them selves.

However, the majority of teachers really do care.

If they didn’t care about their job, the students and their future, they would just operate on autopilot, turn a blind eye or laugh it off.

Looking back, every time I got in trouble, I was terrified. Once, I was escorted by a teacher to the disciplinarian’s office.

You know what, I never pulled that crap again.

I didn’t realize at the time that my teacher who spent the time escorting me to the office, actually cared about me.

Biologically, teenagers do not have the mental capacity for empathy. They do not comprehend how they are wasting the teachers time, effort and energy. Teens are biologically self-absorbed.

Kids, teens, even adults should receive consequences because that’s how they grow and learn from mistakes.

I am only one person and I have no clue how to help rectify this. I am sure there are many individuals who can see the big picture of the disaster that is waiting for us in the future.

*Soon people will be a shell of themselves*

I’m tired of shaking my head and muttering WTF is happening.

Any ideas???

Simon Sinek describes the dopamine rush from phones in these clips. An unmonitored cell phone is like an open access liquor cabinet for kids and teens.

https://youtu.be/xNgQOHwsIbg?si=icXyDt5yu9TpafJn

Autism, Grief, Uncategorized, Women's Fight

The Eye of the Sparrow (Part Four)

February 16, 2024February 16, 2024 quillankellydunn

For about ten years, things were great with our team. We became a little family. We embraced each other’s idiosyncrasies. We invited our spouses and kids to our quarterly get together’s. (Mom Friend) MF invited all of us to her husband’s 50th party because all he wanted for his birthday was to “jam.” I had never been to a party where they had a real band in the backyard equipped with stage, dance floor, microphone, and instruments. MF’s brothers and brother-in-laws all were musically gifted as well. They all performed and sang on stage, even MF, her husband, her kids. It was by far, the coolest party I had ever attended.

I had planned on sleeping over so I was lucky enough to witness a real “acuostic jam session” between MF, her brothers, sister, nephews, nieces, and her kids etc. Everyone was enjoying drinks and were sitting around with their instruments. MF nephew asked her if she had heard of the song, “Angel of Montgomery” By John Prine, sang by Bonnie Raitt. MF replied “Kinda”. He said, “All right, Let’s do it.” Her nephew handed her a notebook with the lyrics written inside. All of MF brother’s, nephews etc began playing as if they rehearsed this everyday; which they didn’t. They all had regular jobs but played music for enjoyment.

I always knew MF was a good singer, however, I was soul blown when I witnessed what I did that night. I hate to sound like Stepbrothers, but honestly, she did sound like a combination of Fergie and Jesus; as if Bonnie Raitt or the Angel of Montgomery herself was in the room. It was fascinating to watch. When she was done singing and the guys were all done playing, everyone seemed to say “Whhooooaa” simultaneously.

Soon after, MF’s husband hurt his back really badly while landscaping, his mother died of Alzheimer’s and his business fell apart. He was unemployed and lost. Meanwhile, their son was approaching high school graduation and becoming a legal adult, which was setting MF and her husband into a tailspin of anxiety and concern about his future.

It did not help that MF was going through menopause and this seemed to trigger a new onset of mood disturbance symptoms. She could not sleep, she would fly off the handle and at times it was as if she could not stop talking. One day I teased her and asked her how much coffee she had that day. When she asked “Why!???” In a paranoid, attacking way. I told her she reminded me of Kramer from Seinfeld when he drank too many cafe latte’s. That didn’t go over well 😬.

Thankfully, the Doctor and Rokstar could always get MF laughing no matter what was going on; usually by taking a break and watching a few SNL clips or Thug Life videos. Of course her flying off the handle led to some comical stories. MF would often to refer to herself as a “Straight up Ridah” inspired by “Ambitionz of a Ridah” by Tupac.

Our personal favorite “Ridah” story was when MF got into a debate with a bad ass, hilarious, six foot tall Amazon woman at work. At our next party, the two of them decided to settle this debate by agreeing to disagree and then by having a “dance off”. Both tenacious women claimed they won and it was an event we still laugh about, mainly because of the “Ridah’s” perspective and comments about it.

Following the dance off party, MF was doing well again for a while, until her family was struck by another tragedy. Her niece that she was extremely close to, lost her 10-day old full-term newborn.

Understandably, MF fell apart again, and it seemed to take her much longer to bounce back. This seemed to break her heart and spirit more than anything else ever had. Seeing a beautiful, angelic baby in a bassinet/casket is something that no one should have to witness. I went to the service. It was a traumatizing sight. It is one of those things I deeply wish I could “unsee” because that image is burned in my brain. I cannot fathom the pain that MF, her family or this baby’s mother had to endure.

One day MF conveyed to us that she finally found comfort from the tragedy in the bible verse Matthew 10:29, 31. It was difficult for her to see God’s plan this time through the baby dying, however her faith helped her find peace. I still was detached from my faith so I ignorantly teased her for being a “Bible Person”. When she explained it to me, I hated to admit that it made sense, I had not yet made my peace with God.

After this incident, MF’s husband to seem to spiral out of control. It seemed he could not cope with the severe back pain, the financial pressure of losing his business, his autistic son’s future, his daughter’s financial & college career and then his wife’s grief and depression.

MF was struggling with her husband’s episode because he was always the rock that kept her and her son together. His patience with his son was limitless and MF would frequently say that he has the patience of a saint. However, since her husband was self employed, worked alone at home, he did not have time for many friends or a support system of coworkers as MF did.

Rokstar was very concerned when MF did not show up for work February 8th, 2016 and she was not responding to texts or phone calls. Rokstar, The Doctor and I were talking on the phone together on three-way and we decided that we should stop over at her house to make sure everything was okay. It was snowing and we were thinking something may have happened with their power. Deep down, we all knew something was wrong.

I live the closest, and already out, on the way home from work, so I stopped over first. Rokstar was on her way also. The doctor lives in the city, so no need for her to drive.

I rang doorbell, no one answered the door, it was eerily dark and quiet until the dog started barking. Then I walked by the garage and saw a dark liquid that looked like oil on the sidewalk from the garage.

The Doctor called the police on her home phone while the three of us remained on our cell phones together. We all had a sick, nauseous, trembling feeling. The bond the three of us share from that night changed forever that moment. It was an unspoken promise, we are forever together from this.

The police would not disclose anything to Rokstar and myself except that there was someone deceased in the home and that they would contact us once the identity was confirmed.

One can only speculate why MF, her 18 year old son and her husband were found dead in their home. One can only guess what happened based on the information that is known.

Ironically I found peace and comfort in “Don’t be afraid, you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”

One thing I do know is that when you have a a friend that you love, you do not want to see them in pain. I do believe she is no longer afraid. She is not in pain anymore and does not have to worry about her son’s future because she is right next to him. Additionally, she would be going ballistic everyday if she were here to see Trump president😂.

By the grace of God, their daughter took some time off, but eventually graduated from college and sings everyday. MF’s strength lives on in her daughter’s heart, soul and voice. #margaretstrong

Update:

Katie was hit by a train February 16, 2019, the 3-year anniversary of the funeral service. I am sure this was no coincidence, but who can blame her. No one should have to endure that pain, devastating loss, and heartbreak. To be honest, the pain was so raw and debilitating when Katie was alive. Your heart shattered, literally everyday for her. Especially when she posted herself singing. Thank God they are all together now.

our work family on the night we found out…