Tag: #empathy

Now.. this is a story all about how…
My life got flipped, turned upside down…And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there and I’ll tell you how I became a hobbling mom cuz life’s not fair…🤣

I mentioned in my last blog about a hip labrum repair and impingement surgery I had mid-September 2025…

Well as Murphy’s law would have it, things did not go as planned. Thought I would share this story to prevent other people from suffering the same consequences. (You’re welcome)

I really liked the initial doctor who I was seeing since May 2025 and he completed my cortisone shot on July 3rd. He referred me to the head surgeon in the office for further treatment. I also enjoyed all the female staff who worked there.

One employee, Jill, was so funny and down to earth, I would leave with sore cheeks from laughing so hard. I considered asking her to go out for drinks sometime.

However when I’m met the surgeon, I was disappointed. My initial thought was “he’s a douche bag.” I was not impressed with his handshake, demeanor or bedside manner. I ignored my first impression because I liked the staff so much.

The Surgery took place on September 17, 2025. I had one X-ray post surgery in the office, on September 30th. The Douchebagsurgeon (DBS) said everything looked good. I followed up with DBS six weeks after surgery, 10/28/25 and he told me I could stop wearing the brace. I continued with my daily exercises and PT twice a week.

I weaned off the brace, but I was still in significant pain and I thought I was walking weird.

I followed up with the DBS again on November 7th, advising him that something was wrong. DBS completed a physical exam and said to stretch and ice more. He did not take another X-ray.

I called the office November 25th advising them that I fell onto the toilet (because now my right leg gave out- it was getting sore from doing all the work). They scheduled me for an appointment on December 9th.

When my family witnessed the way I was walking on Thanksgiving…

They strongly advised I get a second opinion. I scheduled an appointment with a recommended physician. The soonest available was January 5th, 2026.

On December 9th, the DBS advised that I was experiencing muscular pain from my piriformis area and I could get a cortisone shot by his partner. DBS still didn’t take another X-ray.

The cortisone shot doctor was so empathetic and I felt heard. He was like “Guurrrlll, what are gonna do about this hip!?”

I’m serious, he really said that.

He took an X-ray of my back to make sure everything was ok and gave me the shot on December 12th.

After about a week, the piriformis area pain subsided. Instead, I began to feel more pain in the area that I had the surgery. At PT, they suggested I begin using a cane temporarily.

There was never a discussion about the use of a cane before the surgery. PT said that a setback is normal and I worked harder, silently crying doing exercises.

Now my husband was getting pissed watching me walk and said he will come with me to next appointment.

I demanded an urgent appointment on December 23rd.

I laid on the table for my usual bullshit exam and I said my leg is shorter than the other. The DBS was especially dickish about it. He whipped out the tape measure with an attitude like “I’ll show you.” He said it was only a centimeter off and that’s normal.

I advised that I cannot put weight on my left leg and I keep walking on the ball of my foot, not bending my knee. My husband inquired about this. DBS states to my husband, “SHE wasn’t walking like this last time.”

I reply, “uh, yes I was!”

Again no X-ray.

So I spent the holidays using a cane. It turned out to be a big hit with my nieces and nephews.

I hobble along through the new year, and attend my second opinion appointment on the first Monday of 2026.

I gear up for the usual explanations:

“You have to be patient, recovery takes time, sometimes 5-8 months….”

Within minutes of arriving at the University of Chicago orthopedic center, I am brought back to receive X-rays. They not only did an X-ray standing up, but lying down in various positions.

I meet Dr. Sherwin Ho….

Dr. Ho listens to me for about ten minutes, clearly already aware of what’s wrong.

He states “You aren’t crazy. Your hip socket is completely collapsed. You now have a condition called avascular necrosis (AVN). The only solution is a hip replacement.”

I said “I feel like my leg is shorter than the other”, he replies “that’s because it is! About a half-inch at least!”

I see his female colleague on January 15th. She advised “I do not know what caused the AVN, but if I saw your MRI from June 2025; I would have advised a hip replacement then. You will be walking the day of the surgery and it is a very active recovery.”

Hallefuckinglujah.

I leave with a folder filled with packets of information. This is where the anger and humiliating hindsight kicks in.

Example one: Pre-and-post surgery last year, I received one piece of paper in a folder. There was no official pre-op appointment, brace was not explained. (I just woke up with a brace on after surgery and the box to take home and read myself.) I had to rely on PT who informed me of what not to do.

My pre-op appointment at the University of Chicago/ January 28th, 2026: They completed another set of extensive X-rays and labs on-site. I met with another person who went over the surgery with me.

I met with a third person who went over my medications and the entire recovery process and then another doctor came in to complete medical clearance.

My Hip replacement is scheduled for 2/11/26 at UofC Lagrange. I meet with PT who gets me walking that night before discharge. I will receive in home PT for the first two weeks. They told me to schedule the rest of PT now for four weeks out. I am unable to drive for six weeks.

Red Flags:

1. For my initial surgery in September, I went to an orthopedic office that is privately owned by the surgeon. What I learned: if a surgeon owns the practice, he answers to no one. He makes his own rules. At a hospital like Rush, Northwestern and University of Chicago, they have numerous teams who think of everything from risk management to home care. Hospitals follow a protocol.
2. An X-ray should have been taken at each follow-up visit. Now I have no idea when this other diagnosis started. I know now I should ask and then demand an x-ray.
3. I was in a “hurry to get fixed” and didn’t take the time to get a second and third opinion. What I learned: always go with your gut and your first impression; always get a second and third opinion. Liking the staff should not be a deciding factor of who performs the surgery. I was in a “hurry” and now I’m setback another 6 months. If you don’t LOVE ❤️ your doctor, find someone else.
4. I didn’t feel like “driving too far” or “wasting time with additional appointments”. What I learned: distance should not be a main factor. If I took the time to research, I would have discovered University of Chicago’s Orland park office was actually closer
5. DBS states post surgery “your hip looked way worse than the MRI once I got in there.” What I learned: if a doctor ever says anything like this to you, you should go see someone else immediately.
6. If a guy confuses a centimeter and a half inch, you know what that means…

If I had continued to listen to the DBS, I would still be crying through PT and doing more damage to the rest of my body.

I know I will be dancing again soon but a lot wiser this time.