#familyissues – Quillan Kelly-Dunn

Anyone have a friend or family member that is “a total bust?” Someone who never learns from their mistakes, continues to create havoc month after month and somehow they come out scott free with no consequences? They have no real concept of anything.

Yes we can say, “let’s not judge someone in their worst moment” but with this person; there are TOO many “worst moments” to count. We can say to each their own or karma will get them, but who wants to wait for that? They are continuing to cause permanent, devastating injury to other people and children.

They constantly get everyone all riled up and cause an incident to be an utter emergency. You scramble to help find solutions to assist and then they will be like “never mind, it’s fine now.” Every time they are around it is absolute chaos.

They are too lazy & clueless to do the emotional work it takes to change.

I just don’t get it. Karma, where are you? I feel like if I made one of the mistakes this person makes, my life would be over. I would end up in jail.

When you try and sit down with this person and have a civilized conversation, they do not provide the answer you are looking for.

They will instigate & rage-bait you, then when you explode; they play the victim.

In addition to their lack of self-awareness & personality flaws, they usually have a substance abuse problem that is off the chain. When you attempt to convey your concern for their health & safety, they dismiss you.

Then they will constantly find excuses to avoid situations they do not want to attend. They are always “sick” and their kids are always “sick”. When it’s is a consistent pattern, it’s pretty obvious. My favorite is when they will be “sick” following a bender and have absolutely no understanding of the correlation between their lifestyle and illness.

When you slightly convince them that they aren’t taking care of themselves, they do the bare minimum.

They usually ignore the big problems, are overwhelmed with standard adult functioning and create little problems out of nothing.

They invented this likable, responsible, organized, thoughtful & funny image of who they want to portray.

Overtime, it becomes more difficult to maintain this facade and their true selves begin to emerge. It’s frustrating because you believe they have some good qualities and that is why you liked them…at first. Eventually you realize that it was all for show. It was only an image they have been creating, not the real person they are inside. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Usually they blame others constantly for their reactions and have a total lack of boundaries. They are unable to stop themselves from disclosing information you don’t want to know.

It’s as if they are growing in reverse and they keep regressing.

They act like a teenager, are selfish, have no empathy, and behave downright mean and nasty.

Eventually you get burnt out from caring and become complacent.

When you look up the actual definition of arrested development, it explains ALOT.

“Arrested development refers to a psychological or emotional state where an individual’s growth—specifically social, emotional, or intellectual maturation—stagnates, causing them to remain “stuck” at an earlier stage of development. Often triggered by trauma, neglect, or lack of guidance, it results in adults who look mature but act with child-like impulsivity, insecurity, or irresponsibility.”

Ironically, they are sometimes triggered when their children reach the age when their trauma, neglect, or abandonment began. So if a parent was exposed to something that arrested their own development at age ten; when their child reaches age 10, symptoms explode.

It is actually really sad when you begin to see the ignored, neglected and/or abused inner child inside of them; begging for attention.

All this drama they are creating is a subconscious distraction from the true feeling they are desperately attempting to avoid.

This is why they have to “keep spinning” their web of lies and manipulation. They are relentless, like a shark. They are internally exhausted from pretending and shit stirring.

You really cannot convince them no matter how hard you try. They will twist your words around and get defensive. They will be so harsh and cruel to you for offering advice.

Their justifications make zero sense.

Usually, a trauma bond forms between the abuser with this persons victims. They keep their “loved ones” addicted to the toxic cycles by reeling them in with love bombing, emotional stability then spitting them back out with intermittent cruelty. They retaliate in evil ways.

“Trauma bonding isn’t just emotional; it’s psychological. The brain’s chemistry is altered during these cycles of abuse and reconciliation. The release of stress hormones like cortisol during abusive episodes, followed by dopamine during reconciliation, creates a potent mix that can literally make the victim feel addicted to the abuser. “

Emotional stability may feel foreign, uncomfortable and boring. They most likely grew up with this type of family dynamic so they have induce chaos to feel “normal.”

Unfortunately, something awful and terrible has to occur for them to finally receive a wake up call.

Then they wonder why their kids are out of control and behave like complete savage, feral assholes as young adults.

By the time they receive their much deserved karma, it is usually TOO LATE. So much emotional turmoil & damage has been done and relationships are beyond repair.

However, I would like the consequences to happen a lot sooner?? Anyone else? We all make mistakes! As humans, we can’t always see our own stuff=triggers/self-medicating habits etc. immediately.

There has to be some sort of self-reflection and life re-evaluation eventually!

When does it end? How old do they have to be to finally realize it?

It seems like good, genuinely kind people who follow the law, a moral code and their core values seem to have to pay for mistakes immediately. It feels like those who consistently and repeatedly commit heartless deeds intentionally to hurt someone else or for personal gain; get away with it for an extremely long time. When they finally atone for the pain & the irreversible damage they caused, they are so old; you don’t even care anymore.

Therefore, I would like to make a formal request to KARMA in writing. I would like to demand of the universe to lead this person toward the direction of some kind of wake-up call, professional help, & a better lifestyle. I would like to mandate for this to occur this year, while they are young, not in 40 years when they are old and the rest of us are deceased.

I like to believe there are mostly genuinely good-hearted people in the world. Why can’t anyone who is truly despicable receive their consequences in a timely manner?

Like why did Jeffrey Epstein receive the gift of death? Why couldn’t he have to live in misery and humiliation by facing all his victims? Why couldn’t he live to bring down anyone else involved?

Grrrr. Makes me so angry.

I want justice!

He better come out of hiding if he’s alive!!