#hero – Quillan Kelly-Dunn

There really are some ignorant, asshole people in this world.

What happens though, when you become “one of those assholes”?

When you “hate people” in general, this maybe a sign you need to check yo self. (Unless you are Larry David, because his hating everything is hilarious and refreshing.)

When this is not part of your general personality and you feel an NEW overall disgust for the human race, you may want to look in the mirror. Why am I so grouchy?

Why do you “hate?” Why are you so jaded?

I recently had an eye-opening experience like this. In May 2025, I found out I had torn my hip labrum and a nerve impingement. I have never experienced pain like this where it consumed my entire mood and life.

Plus, the boredom..,

With not being able to walk outside and do my regular stress-reducing exercise, active meditation of walking in the woods, I became a miserable person.

Then I had to have surgery in September. I had so many restrictions. I became a raging grinch. I had to find all new coping skills.

The daily gratitude journal, weekly counseling, physical therapy, talking with friends, TV, movies, books, & music helped me through it at first, but there was still this underlying sadness, self-pity, and frustration.

A lot of past issues/demons began to resurface, where before I would breathe them away outside and “walk it off.”

All I wanted to do was check out on the couch, ice my leg and numb myself with Netflix & instagram.

I forced myself to go out when I was not ready and I was a crab. I was rude and sarcastic.

I found myself making stereotypical statements like a grumpy old man.

I was very impatient.

Then spiraled into not wanting to go anywhere. I was losing it.

However, fear, racism, hatred and ignorance has been #trending, so thought “I was normal.”

How can you take action when all you can do is lay there and wallow in your pain?

Despite being completely aware that this is temporary and I’m not permanently disabled, I was still catastrophizing. Meanwhile, my daughter went away to college, I still had to work and help my mom. I was empty and depleted. In addition to trying to function, none of my clothes fit right…

Everything I worked so hard for with strength training. was down the toilet. I looked like a 10lb sausage in a 5 lb bag.

Now I was really ANGRY.

Someone has to pay for this. I want justice! I want vengeance! However, there was no one to blame, I had to accept that shit happens in life and it’s no one’s fault. Still, I “hated” everyone.

Thankfully, my sisters & my friends, provided me love, support and care no matter how I behaved.

They reminded me of the big picture.

So I did what I could do, instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do. I read more enlightening books and listened to more empowering podcasts, instead of watching instagram and the news. Watched funny movies and TV. I got a massage and facial. I watched the sunset. I shopped for clothes that fit me. I took small walks.

Then a female, Arabic woman held the door for me at Starbucks, so I paid for her order. A stranger.

Afterwards, I began to cry.

I was inadvertently reminded “Hurt people, HURT people.”

I forgot that I need to give in order to receive…

When people showed me love, I was able to give love back. When I received compassion, I was able to give compassion. Isolating and ruminating was getting me no where, except a downward spiral of misery. I forgot that there are people doing way worse than myself. I was hurting so I wanted to hurt others. I hated my situation, so wanted to hate others.

Even when things were working for me, I wanted to self-sabotage and be miserable.

Therefore, my hatred was checked and I was able to look within. I now have way more empathy for my patients who are disabled, elderly, and those in constant pain.

This “culture of hate” is running on the fumes of our own internal struggles/fear/misery and we want someone to blame.

If everyone works until they no longer can, pays their taxes, follows the laws/rules of our country and accepts the insurance provided by their employer; we should all be good. If you break the law, you suffer the consequences.

Some people truly are disabled and are unable to work and some would give anything to be able to work again. I think we can all agree that no matter what race, color, gender, religion or sexuality we are; our core values are the same.

The beauty of our country is in our differences and diversity. We are all immigrants or descendants of some. It is evident when we ask each other “what is your nationality?”

I mean, what does “American citizen” truly look like? Everyone can’t be born here. Someone had to come here first.

The hard work of Americans & immigrants is what built this country. Refugees come to America out of fear for their life. If you aren’t fearing for your life, then follow the citizenship process. If you are here illegally, then work, take care of yourself, don’t expect hand-outs or break our laws.

We have no idea what anyone has been through, so let’s have some compassion; we are ALL human beings.

Please increase the size of your heart this season and for 2026, consider a resolution of volunteering, paying it forward, compassion and empathy for others instead of judging and hating.

Make America Kind Again.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLu17xqxhGE/?igsh=Z3IxbGM2a2FwNG54

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPmKEv6Ejt5/?igsh=MTd6ajB5YnZ0dDVxaA==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOw-GwFkZTi/?igsh=ZDdrcDU3MHY1aDBz

Now that whirlwind of the holiday season is over and we are collectively experiencing a massive dopamine crash…

Let’s take a moment now to reflect and ponder…How the hell did we do all that?

Or maybe “What was I thinking buying that?”

The glow of the Christmas lights ignites a warm feeling in our hearts and a goodwill toward others. It courses through our veins like heroin. It’s as if the high of “giving the perfect gift” intoxicates our mind and clouds our judgement. We think with our hearts instead of our brain. Thankfully for our bank account, it only happens once a year. Yet, I still love every minute of it and will do it all again next year.

This year, however, it seemed more apparent to me than in years past, the weeks before Christmas are more of a rush than the actual day. The preparation for Christmas, the tree, decorating, shopping, & wrapping gets us excited. This excitement from Black Friday until 12/25 is a perpetual, steady, high like no other.

I noticed on Christmas day, there was a slight sting hovering in the background; mourning the loss of the “anticipation“.

Don’t get me wrong, my Christmas week was a blast. This was an ambivalent feeling of pure joy, combined with a lump in the back of my throat. I miss “looking forward to it”. I miss being excited. Must be aging…

This got me thinking… if I live to 100, I’ll only have 49 more Christmases. 😢

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEKp9XQxgq-/?igsh=MWo5Nzcyb21pN3h5dw==

While I was watching my annual Christmas movie selections; I noticed another surprising change. I found that I was annoyed with George Bailey. I’ve been loyal to him for 35 years so it’s tough to admit, but I have lost patience for him in my old age. He sounds like a whiny brat at times.

I have been identifying more with the true hero of the story..Mary Hatch Bailey. Mary knew what was going on the whole time.

Mary Hatch knew she loved George even as a young girl.

Mary whispers in his bad ear,
“George Bailey, I’ll love you til
the day I die.”

She was subtle and assertive when something or someone stood in her way.

Aka Back off Bitch, you can’t have ALL the boys in this town!

She knew where she wanted to live. She visualized and wished with her heart; it worked. Little did she know without the internet or Instagram, that she was manifesting dat shit into her life.

Most of all, she innately knew what was important and could see the big picture. She didn’t need a whole production of angels coming down from heaven and putting on a show of “not being born” to let her know what life is all about…

Mary stayed focused on her goals and didn’t pay attention what other people were doing.

When there was dilemma, Mary found a solution.

When the whole town was bankrupt, she “lent” her honeymoon money to the community.

She fixed up the old house to make it a “home.” She he found a solution instead of whining about the cards she was dealt.

Am I still allowed to say she added
a “woman’s touch?”

She didn’t get embarrassed that her car was a p.o.s. or by what she was wearing.

Mary: “Why are you wearing diamonds and furs on a roadtrip?”

Mary had four babies, volunteered during the war and supported the well-being of her husband and kids.

When the $8000 went missing, she knew WHEN to ask for help from her friends. One person or family can’t do all the giving. She is aware that friendship is a two-way street.

She knew when to stop giving and to ask for help, she knew that pride doesn’t save anybody.

Therefore, we need to be aware of when to stop giving and start asking.

The key is, recognizing what is in your control and what is not.

Knowing when you need to LET others do what they are going to do.

Let others THINK what they are going to THINK.

Let people gossip.

Let people judge.

Let people display their true self all over the place.

Why? Because it is out of your control. Why expend the time and energy? If someone acts like they want to leave and doesn’t treat you the way you want, you can let them GO.

“Why don’t you GO HOME! aka GTFO George Bailey you lil bitch.”

Below is a link to 60 minutes of the best therapy ever (you can fast forward through commercials.)

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5mCeQEWX2CvRVId19mUyrh?si=F50whAw6Tqa3JWYN5zzdWg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1FgnTBfUlzkeKt

This podcast episode provides the tools and mindset on common situations such as: Dealing with a stressful boss, a break up or a divorce, when your children can’t get motivated or when you feel guilty about disappointing your family, or friends & more.

The game-changing concept that is also discussed “If every thought you had cost a dollar, would you keep thinking about it?” Would you keep wasting your energy if it cost money?

How much more do you need to know?