There really are some ignorant, asshole people in this world.
What happens though, when you become “one of those assholes”?
When you “hate people” in general, this maybe a sign you need to check yo self. (Unless you are Larry David, because his hating everything is hilarious and refreshing.)
When this is not part of your general personality and you feel an NEW overall disgust for the human race, you may want to look in the mirror. Why am I so grouchy?
Why do you “hate?” Why are you so jaded?
I recently had an eye-opening experience like this. In May 2025, I found out I had torn my hip labrum and a nerve impingement. I have never experienced pain like this where it consumed my entire mood and life.
Plus, the boredom..,
. 

With not being able to walk outside and do my regular stress-reducing exercise, active meditation of walking in the woods, I became a miserable person.
Then I had to have surgery in September. I had so many restrictions. I became a raging grinch. I had to find all new coping skills.
The daily gratitude journal, weekly counseling, physical therapy, talking with friends, TV, movies, books, & music helped me through it at first, but there was still this underlying sadness, self-pity, and frustration.
A lot of past issues/demons began to resurface, where before I would breathe them away outside and “walk it off.”
All I wanted to do was check out on the couch, ice my leg and numb myself with Netflix & instagram.
I forced myself to go out when I was not ready and I was a crab. I was rude and sarcastic.
I found myself making stereotypical statements like a grumpy old man.
I was very impatient.
Then spiraled into not wanting to go anywhere. I was losing it.
However, fear, racism, hatred and ignorance has been #trending, so thought “I was normal.”
How can you take action when all you can do is lay there and wallow in your pain?
Despite being completely aware that this is temporary and I’m not permanently disabled, I was still catastrophizing. Meanwhile, my daughter went away to college, I still had to work and help my mom. I was empty and depleted. In addition to trying to function, none of my clothes fit right…
Everything I worked so hard for with strength training. was down the toilet. I looked like a 10lb sausage in a 5 lb bag.
Now I was really ANGRY.
Someone has to pay for this. I want justice! I want vengeance! However, there was no one to blame, I had to accept that shit happens in life and it’s no one’s fault. Still, I “hated” everyone.
Thankfully, my sisters & my friends, provided me love, support and care no matter how I behaved.
They reminded me of the big picture.
So I did what I could do, instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do. I read more enlightening books and listened to more empowering podcasts, instead of watching instagram and the news. Watched funny movies and TV. I got a massage and facial. I watched the sunset. I shopped for clothes that fit me. I took small walks.
Then a female, Arabic woman held the door for me at Starbucks, so I paid for her order. A stranger.
Afterwards, I began to cry.
I was inadvertently reminded “Hurt people, HURT people.”
I forgot that I need to give in order to receive…
When people showed me love, I was able to give love back. When I received compassion, I was able to give compassion. Isolating and ruminating was getting me no where, except a downward spiral of misery. I forgot that there are people doing way worse than myself. I was hurting so I wanted to hurt others. I hated my situation, so wanted to hate others.
Even when things were working for me, I wanted to self-sabotage and be miserable.
Therefore, my hatred was checked and I was able to look within. I now have way more empathy for my patients who are disabled, elderly, and those in constant pain.
This “culture of hate” is running on the fumes of our own internal struggles/fear/misery and we want someone to blame.
If everyone works until they no longer can, pays their taxes, follows the laws/rules of our country and accepts the insurance provided by their employer; we should all be good. If you break the law, you suffer the consequences.
Some people truly are disabled and are unable to work and some would give anything to be able to work again. I think we can all agree that no matter what race, color, gender, religion or sexuality we are; our core values are the same.
The beauty of our country is in our differences and diversity. We are all immigrants or descendants of some. It is evident when we ask each other “what is your nationality?”
I mean, what does “American citizen” truly look like? Everyone can’t be born here. Someone had to come here first.
The hard work of Americans & immigrants is what built this country. Refugees come to America out of fear for their life. If you aren’t fearing for your life, then follow the citizenship process. If you are here illegally, then work, take care of yourself, don’t expect hand-outs or break our laws.
We have no idea what anyone has been through, so let’s have some compassion; we are ALL human beings.
Please increase the size of your heart this season and for 2026, consider a resolution of volunteering, paying it forward, compassion and empathy for others instead of judging and hating.
Make America Kind Again.
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Quillan Kelly-Dunn 