Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
Working my ASS off at the gym and consuming the American“healthy diet” yet staying the same. “The Same” meaning the scale not moving, uncomfortable, body aches, joint pain, tired all the time, irritable, living on caffeine, not sleeping, overthinking, headaches, worrying, and burnt out.
For 20 years I kept trying to figure it out myself. Trial and error…over and over. Trying something else, buying a new product, doing a new fad, not eating carbs, signing up for new place, researching for answers…. When it didn’t work again, I would get discouraged, and want to give up. I was tired of failing, going back to my old ways, saying it’s too hard, complaining, assuming I can’t afford anything that works, using genetics as an excuse.🙈
I was sick of accepting “being fine” but driven because I was sick of feeling like crap.
I wasted so much time, money, energy instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something I never did.
I can’t change the past, BUT I CAN change my future.
The day I turned 40, my mom had a stroke (literally she had a stroke the night of my birthday wtf) at the age of 59! FIFTY-NINE! I remember thinking FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKKK THIS.
It wasn’t just a wake up call for her …but for me as well.
I had to admit that I did not know everything and obviously what I’m doing is NOT WORKING. My continuing to try to “figure it out” kept me stuck. My trying to “feel prepared” and “feel motivated” kept me in a never ending cycle; the knowledge-action gap.
Instead of doing what I have always done, I did something I never did…
I let go of fear, judgement, control and got out of my own way.
Instead of making excuses, reasons and justifications if why it won’t work, why “I can’t” ...I JUMPED.
I don’t know why, but you have to say YES and JUMP for it to work. I suppose that is what is meant by taking a A LEAP of Faith…
Once you JUMP, you DON’T HAVE A CHOICE but to make it happen! I finally understood what was meant by “burning the bridge” or “burning the boats”. Once you are there, you burn your way back; hence having no choice but to figure out the new situation and deal with it.
Excuse #1: “I can’t afford it.” Solution: I started by picking up an extra shift a week. Since I did not want to work more-or on weekends-but I also didn’t want to stay STUCK…it forced me to:
Stop procrastinating about doing things I needed to do!
Excuse #2 “I dont have time.” Put the work in for the things that could save time in the long run.
You discover where money every disappears every month; those damn monthly subscriptions for “only $7.99 a month” adds up.(I can’t remember all if them but they were those tedious tasks that you just have to do! (Such as making the phone call to AT&T wireless and tell them I am going to cancel because bill is too high and magically they cut the bill in half. We just have to suck it up, sit on hold and DO IT.
(Dance while you are on hold:)
Time & Money Suckers:
💸I temporarily gave up social media, Facebook, & watching the news- I deleted the apps from my phone 💸
💸I canceled my cable (we had tons of channels but all we watch is Netflix, amazon prime and ESPN)💸
💸I made the call and got Netflix covered by T-mobile 💸
💸I set up the app on my phone from the library to get FREE audiobooks, FREE kindle books instead of buying books💸 (App is called Libby)
💸I would take out audiobooks, books, CDS and movies from the library instead of buying music and on demand movies💸
💸I started meal prepping for the week on a day off or evening instead of buying breakfast, snacks, lunch & dinner at work which were totaling $8-$12 a day💸
💸I stopped buying coffee in the morning from Starbucks or Dunkin💸
💸I stopped going out to eat and getting fast food -I told my kids once a week on fridays, IF they were good all week (Usually they were not-cha ching)😂
💸I started going to Aldi first before Mariano’s/Jewel/Trader joes and spent a little extra time grocery shopping, looking at sale papers, making lists (I did this at work when I had downtime)- then taking pic of list so I don’t forget it at home 😂
💸I canceled my gym membership at LA fitness $37 a month & charter fitness $10 =$47 a month and did DVDS at home (and now Beachbody on demand $8 a month) 💸
💸I bought weights at five below instead of target or Dicks 💸
💸I canceled iTunes monthly💸
💸I canceled satellite radio and did free podcasts💸
💸Linked my citi card to amazon so my points could be used for amazon purchases 💸
Then I had the money to make the change I needed.💰
Eventually, this lead to figuring out how valuable my time is …
Any complaint you have, pay attention to the reason you use to justify it. There is your EXCUSE.
Whatever your reason is, that is your excuse.
P.S. I love House of Pain’s Jump Around song and I go nuts whenever it comes on…HOWEVER who wants to be a one hit wonder…When you can Be.A.Legend👇🏻like this guy. #vanhalen #davidleeroth
Headaches and migraines SUCK! Here are some solutions I’ve researched and tried over the last 30 years🙈.
My son had migraine cycling vomiting syndrome since age 4 where he would get a migraine and throw up for about 3-4 days every July and February. 🤷🏻♀️
I only noticed pattern because it was around 4th of July and Superbowl. Pediatrician recommended neurologist. We Did a food elimination diet and allergy testing with him. He is allergic to egg whites and seasonal stuff. He is not allergic to dairy per the test, however dairy and nitrates triggered migraines.
He has been seeing this neurologist since age 6 and has been prescribed cyproheptadine. He is 15 now and pretty much migraine free- he still takes the medicine but his dosage has stated same. Neurologist name: Priti Singh, MD 1 (630) 230-3372.
Why do a food elimination diet: Our body adapts to whatever we are eating everyday because it has to. Taking a break for 30 days removes this adaptation from your system so when you re-introduce the food, your body reacts. This helps you identify the trigger and then you can avoid the symptoms in the future by not consuming this food. Example: I used to eat ice cream and cheese like it was going out of style. I craved it. I never had any “immediate” symptoms.
Then I tried eliminating it for 30 days (I went into a cheese withdrawal depression for real). I was not expecting any changes (also hoping). I was shocked!
I noticed my joints were more flexible and I didn’t even realize I was walking like Frankenstein when I woke up in the morning until I stopped dairy. After about 10 days dairy free, I felt limber/not as achey/stiff. Now dairy triggers a migraine for me within hour or two. Dairy also triggers asthmatic episodes, congestion, sinus headaches and more frequent sinus infections, clogged ears.
Life is hard without cheese but it’s not even worth it to eat it with how bad I felt. Now dairy free ice cream and cheese exist- getting better! Some gluten free stuff is better than the regular!
Headache/Migraine preventative tips:
1. Sounds so simple but Make sure you stay hydrated. Right when you wake up drink at least 12oz water, warm or room temp best, but cold fine too. Drink 8-12 oz every hour. Set reminder on your phone. Coffee and other caffeine products dehydrate you so you have to drink more water. For Every 8oz coffee=12 oz water.
2. Keep a food journal and log migraines or headaches. You may notice a pattern with a food that could be triggering migraines: nitrates, sulfites, MSG, chocolate, aged cheeses
3. Complete a food elimination diet-Go Dairy free for 30 days and note daily how you feel. When you reintroduce dairy you may notice symptoms you did not know you had.
4. Food elimination diet- Gluten: After you complete dairy elimination /Go gluten free for 30 days and note symptoms. (Same as above). Then try eliminating other foods like eggs, chocolate, soy, aged meats and cheeses which have sulfates and nitrates. etc.
5. Use a Neti-pot with saline packets after the shower every day to remove pollen and particles that fester in your nasal cavity. Migraines begin in the sinuses usually.
6. Use a crossbody purse- heavy bags on shoulders affect neck and shoulders- and trigger tension.
7. If you over 21 😉 – alcohol also dehydrates you. Wine has sulfites that trigger migraines. Beer has histamines – google those.
8. Yoga/Pilates-Stretches your back and neck to prevent tension, encourages breathing. You may not even notice that you hold your breath. People who have anxiety hold their breath, not enough oxygen=migraine trigger.
9. Again Stay hydrated- Dehydration biggest trigger for migraines/headaches. If you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated. A low calorie super hydration is Nuun tablets They are sold at target, dick’s, amazon. I drink one tablet with a 24-36 ounces of water right when I wake up.
10. Eliminate: Fake sugar aspartame from your life found in diet colas etc. COLAS are the biggest trigger for muscle tension.
11. Avoid perfumes and heavy fragrances -big trigger for migraine. (Unfortunately Bath & Body works for me= 🤮 😵)
12. Meditate: 10-20 minutes daily- use noise canceling headphones and listen to guided meditation podcasts, white noise machine and just breathe etc to help
13. Supplement with magnesium rich and omega foods:Some of the best food sources of magnesium are:organic leafy greens- spinach/chard•Figs•avocados•bananas•dark chocolate•nuts and seeds•mackerel, tuna, and Pollock fish •low-fat yogurt or kefir•black beans and lentils
14. Supplements like: CoQ10 150 mg-300 mg daily, Iron (especially during period) and Vitamin B12 regularly could help prevent.
15. This sounds coo coo- I know but Pay attention to barometric pressure- sudden drops or rises in barometric pressure (like sudden temperature changes, when it’s about to rain, etc) is a big trigger for migraines….***the weather app Displays the pressure daily.
Weather changes: This is something out of your control so this is when you should just take Advil or your prescription (sumatriptan generic for Imitrex is usually covered by insurance) before you have a headache/migraine. Getting ahead of the pain prevents a massive blow up that takes hours to go away.
16. Hormonal changes is a huge trigger for migraines so take Advil, magnesium, Vitamin D, B-stress complex when you are PMSING. Drink 100oz of water daily.
17. Get rid of your cleaning supplies such as bleach – or strong scented products and use More naturally derived cleaning products like Meyer. Norwex cloths which use silver technology and water to kill 99.9 % of germs. Melalueca has a disinfectant called solu-guard that kills 99.9% of bacteria without the harmful fumes and respiratory distress.
18. Get tested by an allergist so you are aware what you are allergic to, then if you know what season, you will be proactive by taking antihistamine. Example: Ragweed in the fall is brutal – so I take Benadryl or Lortadine (Claritin) every night during fall.
19. Wash sheets in hot water every two weeks to kill dust mites and remove pollen and other allergens (sometimes fragrance in fabric softener or detergents cause migraines). Unfortunately keep windows closed during the allergy season
20. Swimming sometimes helps-the cold water, getting heart and respiratory rate up is sometimes what you need even if you do not feel like it.
If none of above work:
21. See an Acupuncturist monthly- acupuncturists use trigger points that can remove migraine/headache immediately, release stress, pressure and get the “Qi” (chi) flowing again.
22. Chiropractor consult -some insurances even cover massages while performed in a chiropractor office. TMJ from teeth grinding also a big trigger for migraines. This dental guard helps you stop grinding your back teeth and clenching jaw:Dental Guard SMARTGUARD ELITE (2… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XXRSFKC?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
When you already have a migraine:
When you already have a headache/migraine:
1. When you feel the tension starting to build or sudden onset or migraine aura, example: see floaters etc. Take Advil, Aleve or the prescription sumatriptan immediately 👇🏻 The earlier you take it, the faster it will go away.
4. Diffuse peppermint oil and also mix 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops lavender oil •2 drops frankincense in your facial lotion or tbsp of refined (I scented)coconut oil and put over temples, behind ears, earlobes, forehead, neck, park of neck where meets skull, cheeks next to nose and along nose
5. Put two tennis balls in a sock and lay on them at areas of trigger points, mainly behind neck where neck meets skull
6. Alternate Ice pack wrapped in towel over eyebrows, top of head and neck – hold it there as long as tolerated
7. 20 minute Hot bath with epsom salt, couple drops lavender, eucalyptus, camphor and peppermint oil. Let hot water run on your head. Also you can sit on side of tub with hands and feet in the hot water with ice pack on neck or frozen peas. Or take steamy shower or bath with: JOHNSON’S Soothing Vapor Bath 15 oz (Pack of 3) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IAI90G8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_hu8HCbT85F
8. Immediately after hot bath- do netipot with ice cold water – might be painful but it clears and constructs sinus cavities which triggers migraines
9. Drink Pedialyte – small amounts every 15 minutes-especially if you are vomiting.
10. Coffee & black tea also good for migraines because caffeine constricts blood vessels but caffeine withdrawal also triggers migraines so make sure you drink 12 ounces of extra water for every cup of coffee/tea consumed.
11. Make rollerball vial with 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops of eucalyptus oil •2 drops frankincense and mix carrier oil such as coconut oil, grape seed oil etc. Roll on temples, eyebrows, behind ears, neck,
12. Make frozen washcloths: Mix one cup of water & 1/4 cup alcohol: 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops of eucalyptus oil •2 drops frankincense and mix
13. If you don’t like essentials oils: You can use Biofreeze on neck, behind ears etc. The roller is awesome.
14. When all else fails: ICE CREAM or sorbet-You can usually keep it down and the cold helps with migraine. Coffee ice cream and they have tons of dairy free ice cream now!
15. Sounds weird but chicken soup or MISO soup (at Japanese restaurants) helps, the heat/steam helps clear sinuses and the live cultures do something
16. I know coke or cherry coke can remove rust off cars so imagine what it does to your insides. HOWEVER, sometimes it’s the only cure so if you have to get a fountain one from McDonald’s 😂 just drink enough water after to compensate for caffeine
The self-doubt is always there, but my WHY keeps me from listening most of the time.
However, yesterday was one of those days where I was “in my head” and unable to ignore that innate critic that lives in my brain.
The inner voice was louder than usual,
“You should quit”
“No one cares”
“Who are you to think you can make a difference”
“I can’t do it all”
“I can’t work, take care of myself and be a good mom.”
“I should give up”
“That’s a stupid idea.”
“That’s not going to work”
“you will never afford that”
“Maybe I am doing too much”
“You aren’t good enough yet”
“Maybe I should wait until I’m better”.
Which all equals, I SUCK.
I caught myself all slumped over at my desk working, dejected with a pathetic self-pitying expression on my face.
I moped to my mailbox expecting more “stuff I gotta take care of” (wah wah). Perhaps another red light violation ticket from Crestwood Police Department for turning right on a red light. Instead, I received a letter from a friend from high school, (how exciting right!? Real mail not just bills!) who was one of my Beachbody customers, previous challenge group winners and my first Rodan and Fields customer. These two journals (pictured) were inside.
When I thanked her, this badass replied that when she saw them, she thought of ME! Then she actually took action on her thought and actually followed through and mailed them to me! (How many times do we think of doing something and then hesitate or don’t take the time to do it?)
I was shocked she thought of ME? I’m nobody, I’m just another girl from the Southside of Chicago.
In reality, ME = YOU and we are all equal. We are all doing the best that we can with what we know and what we have. WE are like every other woman in this world. We possess something incredible to offer to the world, each other and our families. When we all support each other=everybody wins.
To me, this tiny, unexpected gift is a value of an entire years income in terms of fulfillment. Incredible moments and words like this make this roller coaster all worth it.
This was a priceless reminder that:
Success is not about your circumstances, it’s about who you’re being. Jen Sincero -author of You are a Bad Ass
It is a reminder about who I am being and what I stand for. I stand for empowering women to empower themselves, recognize their worth, their power, find their strength, and I live that congruently everyday. I stand for men who respect women, our power, and our strength. I stand for men who can embrace what we bring to the tablewhich may not always mean an equal paycheck.
I stand for women to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about themselves without waiting for someone to compliment them for it to mean anything. I stand for women to take action on what they want for themselves without guilt or asking permission. I stand for women taking the initiative to do something for themselves without waiting or being dependent on anyone else. I stand for inner power, confidence and teams/groups to empower support and success.
I stand for dedication, consistency, hard work, and commitment which equals results. What do you stand for?
Remember that story about the guy trapped in a flood on his rooftop and he begs God to save him? First a man in a rowboat shows up and shouts “Jump in, I can save you!” The says “No, its okay, I am waiting for God to save me.”
Then a guy in a motorboat (that motorboatin sonofabitch) shows up and says “Jump in, I can save you…”
The guy declines again and says “NO, its okay, I am waiting for God to save me.”
Lastly, a guy in a helicopter shows up. The guy on the rooftop remained stuck in his faith, beliefs and expectations; gracefully refuses. He answers “I am waiting for God to save me”.
Alas, the guy drowns. When he arrives in heaven, he angrily exclaims to God, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, YOU let me drown! I don’t understand WHY!
God replied. “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat (built for speed and comfort), and a helicopter. What more did you expect? God shakes his head and walks away whispering “dumbass” under his breath…
What did the guy expect? God himself to show up? He’s a busy guy. He sent his peeps to do his work. This guy clung on to his EXPECTATIONS instead of saying YES to opportunity.
Once you begin to look at everything as an opportunity, things in your life can begin to change; if you are smart enough to say yes. An opportunity could be a friend inviting you to lunch or to go out, an acquaintance asking you to come to a conference, a free seminar, or an exercise class. What happens is we hesitate; we start thinking. (#melrobbins) We start finding reasons why we shouldn’t or finding excuses to stay stuck. To stay SAFE.
Our brains are designed to keep us safe so if there is any kind of perceived risk, our brains respond to it. Our brains cannot decipher the risk, it can only respond to how we react. Our brains functioned exceptionally when we were non-verbal Neanderthal’s whose only existence was to procreate, hunt, gather and survive. The human brain’s “safe mode” allowed people to survive epidemics, wars, the holocaust, and countless other tragedies.
If you are fortunate to have your basic needs met (oxygen, water, food, shelter, adequate clothing, electricity, heat, running water, WIFI, a smart phone etc.) and you are physically safe; the brain prefers you stay that way. When you step out of your “comfort zone”, the brain reacts to protect you; this is what causes you to hesitate.
Stepping out of your comfort zone could mean waking up a half hour earlier to jump start your day, not hitting the snooze button, doing an exercise you have never done, eating foods you have never tried, being real, being honest, not pretending, not reacting to the guilt trip your kids are trying to manipulate you with, speaking up in a meeting, standing up for someone, taking action in a situation that feels wrong, helping someone, putting yourself out there, doing something you have never done, physically taking action on something you want to change.
In reference to Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, The Man in the Arena…All of the above are examples “BEING in the arena.” (Debating with someone on social media about politics does not count-having social media balls is called sitting in the stands of the arena.:)
When you want something, you think about it, you speak about it, the universe responds. The universe has your back. It starts to work to bring you what you want. Unfortunately, many of us believe it should be “exactly” how we imagined or expected. However, we may not be ready for what we want and the next step in the journey shows up. Ever hear TRUST THE PROCESS?
If you keep talking about why you keep dating losers, how shitty your job is, how useless your significant other is or how broke you are; the universe will keep bringing you that as well.
An example could be when you are stuck in a rut, you believe your life is a mess, you have mountains of laundry, you look awful blah blah blah and a friend texts you to go to free class or meet for coffee or a drink. This is where you SAY YES.
When you want financial freedom, you may hope or expect to receive an inheritance, settlement or win the lottery; yet stay at a job you are miserable at. This expectation may enable you to not look for other options, ignore an idea you have, get a side hustle or even turn down a different job offer. It could even be a friend inviting you to a presentation or conference that could inspire or empower you. Instead you SAY YES to what has presented itself to you.
When you want to lose weight, have more energy or feel better, you may expect some kind of quick fix, magic pill or a surgery to do the work for you. Instead the universe may send you a friend inviting you to go a free exercise class, a stranger asking you to join an fitness/accountability group or you ignore the inner voice telling you to make that doctor appointment. You may do what you have always done and say no because you “don’t have the money, don’t have the time.” SAY YES.
You may long to be in a loving, fun and fulfilling relationship and you have expectations, opinions and false premises of what you think this is “supposed to feel like” and what this person is “supposed” to look like. The scenarios are endless with this one. The universe knows where you are at and is sending you individuals or situations to prepare you for what you do want. SAY YES.
Take Risks. Let go of Expectations. Don’t be a dumb ass. If you are, learn from it. Find the message in the mess.