#freedom

A League of MY Own

I don’t know all the rules or fundamentals of baseball. It’s not easy for me to sit and watch an entire game-especially on TV.

I know the basics. I played when I was young. I watch my kids.

However, going to a live professional game to me is so fun.

What I love is about it is THE ATMOSPHERE! The ENERGY! The PASSION. And Of course I LOVE THE MUSIC!!! My kids games would be so much more fun with music😜

How boring would a live professional game be without 🎶 music???!!!!

I love watching people getting fired up, the pain of defeat which fuels players to try harder or be phased out. I love the passion, the getting angry, the rivalries and people becoming ecstatic… experiencing joy or pain!

As a therapist…I LOVE EMOTIONS! I am fascinated by them.

I don’t care about every play or rule. I don’t care who wins most of the time. I do love seeing the home team win and how everyone reacts…and the songs they play…the food they serve…I love baseball hats and spirit wear.

What I am mostly attracted to is the human drive of dedication, motivation and consistency.

While my husband watches live games knowing every rule and why…”Tsking” and shaking his head at me with his smug “you-don’t-know-anything-about baseball⚾️” attitude.😜

I smirk, laugh and agree with him, he’s right…I don’t. I don’t what he knows. So what?

What I do know a lot about is dedication and consistency and sticking with something when it gets tough. I worked out have done every day since he has known me. And before he has known me. I have never given up and never will.

Anyways, On Thursday, I walked around Yankee stadium…alone …and people watched. I went to the museum inside- no one else in my family had interest. I love learning about the legacies left, the pain, the thrill of victories, the daily earning of success…I love everything about the game.

Metaphor of Me,above, imagining I’m about to hit my old man’s square head😜

I also LOVE baseball movies…I cry every time I watch The Natural. I cant even talk about the movie The Pride of the Yankees, Lou Gehrig or even Gary Cooper without getting choked up. I can watch Sandlot and A League of their Own; over and over.

I love people and what’s important to people.

I also love the baseball innuendos too 😜😂

There are so many metaphors in baseball that applies to life in general.

“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.”

.

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”

.

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”

.

All these are said by The Great Bambino; who I remind my son, the Sultan of Swat had the most strikeouts too…

There is no failure if you don’t try. I try and fail almost every.single.day. Some rare days I kick ass and hit it out of the park.

👊🏻I may not be a professional, paid athlete… But I CAN train like one.

#baseball

#baseballlife

#prideoftheyankees

#ironman

#thisis45

#thisisforty

#thisisfortysomething

#thisis40

#takeaction

Watch Below:

Read below:

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/hlg-why-marriage-is-just-like-baseball/

Read to see Lou Gehrig was a real class act:

https://www.azquotes.com/author/5413-Lou_Gehrig

#freedom

Ode To My Mother

I remember being kid and sitting on my ass on the couch with my siblings. We were watching TV while our mom cooked us breakfast. We would start bickering and saying dumb things like “Mom! She’s looking at me!”

“Mom! He’s sitting in my spot on the couch!”

My mother would storm in the room to break it up and say things like “Thanks! Happy Mother’s Day!” Then we would laugh at her and get along again because we became connected in making fun of her.

We didn’t get it.

We didn’t know.

No matter how many times she would say it.

We didn’t grasp what it is involved in being a mother or what this day meant.

I cringe now at my ignorance and selfishness.

Thankfully this memory helps me in not expecting my kids to get it either.

I think it’s our job and the FATHER’s job to also teach the children what being a mother means and what we want/need…ahead of time. All year long!

Mom’s all truly want peace.

Mom’s all truly want appreciation.

Mom’s want acknowledgement.

Mom’s want gratitude.

Mom’s want empathy.

Mom’s want to be left alone at times, without guilt. So we can re-group and be a better mom…because we have the space to take care of ourselves…our mental health…our bodies.

Not only on Mother’s Day, but everyday.

I learn this a little more each year.

Unfortunately, I empathize with my mother each year and attempt to forgive myself for how I treated my her.It took me 44 years but I believe I truly get it now. I know she would love for me to say all the words of wisdom she taught me.

However, she did something better than words; SHE LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

She always pointed out the light in the darkness.

She didn’t say “class never goes out of style” and “you are what you surround yourself with”…she showed us.

As much as I am sure she wanted to let us watch TV all day and leave her alone; she only allowed us to watch Channel 11 and PG rated movies. I loved Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street even as a teenager 🙈. I learned to read before kindergarten because she read to me and by watching Sesame Street.

She made us watch old movies no matter how much we argued and debated. We fought hard to watch the latest movies. Now all of us appreciate Hollywood, taste and class; instead of the latest trend.

She didn’t tell me not care what people thought, she lived it. (Example: she dressed the part for everything! She wore a little leprechaun outfit with pointy elf shoes at the parish St. Patrick’s party.)

She didn’t tell me to allow my faith to guide me; she practiced this literally everyday. (Example: When I was a teenager, I was A BEAST! I always had to have the last word, I hit below the belt with my mouth.)

When I was on her last thread of patience…she would leave and walk to Mary’s grotto and pray. (She didn’t drive either).

She always went to church. Prayer was her white claws;). She didn’t drink alcohol, smoke or have any vices, still doesn’t. She volunteered her time despite having 5 kids; one with special needs.

She didn’t tell me to take pride in my work, to always make people feel special and important; to do the best job possible no matter how small. (My mom was a cashier at neighborhood store and took pride in selling cigarettes, lottery tickets and over-counter stuff. She took the time to smile, remember everyone’s name, and make them feel important.) Honestly, no one has ever forgotten my mom and how she made them feel. People from my neighborhood ask me immediately how my mom is doing like I’m chopped liver. (My mom loves hearing this.)

She didn’t tell me to have gratitude, write in a gratitude journal or to appreciate every day as a gift. She lived it everyday by saying small things like “today is the last day you are eleven” or “today is the last day of your thirties “😂 or “be happy to be alive”. She has taken the train and bus to concerts or activities even alone because she appreciates every event, every effort, every thought. She never wants to miss a moment. She loves life.

She didn’t tell me to see the good in everyone and not to judge. She showed this by how she treated all of us, our friends and especially my brothers friends who practically lived at our house. No matter how much trouble they caused her, how rude they may have been, how late they stayed, how loud they were or legal stuff they got into; my mom was someone they all came to for help. She welcomed them with open arms and only saw the good in them. She truly saved a lot of souls. She knows all of their names and their story.

She didn’t tell me to SHOW UP and stick with your word and your commitment; she was the queen of this. She didn’t tell me to “put some lipstick on, drink some coffee, listen to some gangsta rap and handle it” she actually did.it.every.time.

She does love coffee and strongly encourages anyone to drink it. She doesn’t like gangsta rap, however her appreciation of music and The Beatles worked for her every time. This made me also love music; real music. I was always amazed at what my mom would be dealing with, how much she would be crying, how angry she would be but still always show up to something in public. She would put on some lipstick and mascara; put a smile on her face and show up to whatever she committed to…no matter what chaos or tragedies were happening behind closed doors.

She didn’t tell me why fit in when I was born stand out. She took all of her school volunteer jobs seriously. Example-she volunteered to be “picture lady” once a month and taught a class about a work of art. Everyone else’s mom wore whatever, honestly I can’t even remember who’s mom was picture lady now. My mom “became the painting!” She dressed up as each painting! She wore a raincoat and galoshes to match a fisherman painting. She wore a bonnet, blue coat and brought my little sister to become “Mother and Daughter” by Claude Monet.

As much as I was embarrassed, I learned so much about art from her. I now have a deep appreciation for art, music, words and life. I’m glad she stood out and now it’s a beautiful memory. She knew my teen brain judging her would pass. Now I think it’s awesome what she did.

She didn’t tell me to laugh at myself, she did all the time.

She didn’t tell me not to give up; she never did…EVER. Still hasn’t. No matter how many times her heart was broken.

I also learn everyday from my moms personal struggles. Watching her selflessness and also mistakes taught me that:

•You have to take care of yourself first no matter what

•No one is coming to save you

•If you want something, you need to work for it everyday

•Marriage is no guarantee and as much as you want to stab him, it’s better to stay married and forgive to keep everyone on the same page. However, if you are the only one fighting…and have no choice but to do it alone…you WILL SURVIVE.

•Marriage is a commitment and you honor your word.

•Inconsistent discipline is no joke.

•Compromise and picking your battles is grounds for survival

Motherhood never ends.

The learning never stops…

As I watch her enjoying her latest grandkids; I am starting to understand how the heart continues to grow three sizes with each addition to her tribe.

Her LEGACY continues to grow and I hope she realizes this now. She is appreciated, adored, loved and cherished. If she doesn’t feel that way, that’s up to her to believe it 😜

#freedom, parenting struggles

It’s gonna be…Oh wait… it already is

The last few weeks of April are hell for Justin Timberlake. All the memes and jokes flood social media stating that “It’s gonna be May”. (If you’re not familiar with why he hates May-here

In a *NSYNC song, “It’s gonna be Me”, JT says the word ME in a strange way that sounds like MAY. Despite JT putting himself out there thousands of times and killing it, this one cringey flub consumes all of his massive success and talent every year during the month of May…👈🏻 Here he is, as an adult having to do it…again.

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I dread May as JT does, however I have no famous memes to remind me, until it is already here, and then I remember. The end-of-the-year-last-minute chaos with all the school functions smashed into four weeks. When all the sports overlap, the parties and the calendar resembles a Tetris game. This game of a calendar is perfectly “NSYNC” 😉 to remind me on the hour that:

I. AM. A. Fucking. Mess.

I.Cannnot.Do.Anything.Right.As.A.Mom.

justin-timberlake-jtimberlake-whitepeoplehumor-i-fucking-hate-may-me-irl-32649878

Every year it gets worse because the kids become wiser, smarter and catch on to how inadequate at this I really am. They remind me every 6 minutes of something I did not do or they need (Mom, you forgot to give me money for this.) Along with, Can we go here? Can we get this? Can we invite this person over on Friday? (It’s Monday). Following the question drill, I continuously put it back on them. Did do you do your homework? Did you study? Did you brush your teeth? Do you have practice? Do you have a game? Did you wipe your ass?

Daily Banter

Kid: “Mom, I asked you to make me something to eat.”

Me: “Yes and I replied …Can’t you make something yourself?”

Kid: “We have no food.”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Kid: “Like what?”

Me: (Grrrrr) Pizza, chicken strips, PBJ, We have Lunchmeat, make a sandwich. Carrots and hummus, chips and guac, apple or banana with peanut butter, string cheese.”

Kid: “I have that everyday, I had that for lunch.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell ya, figure it out.”

Kid: “You don’t even care.”

Me: (Blood pressure rising) “This isn’t a restaurant. You eat what we have in the house.”

Kid: “Can I have some money then?”

Me: (biting lip/clenching fists) “For what?”

“Kid: “To ride my bike to Subway?”

Me: “Ummmm, NO.  I just named like 10 things we have in the house.”

Kid: “Yea, but I don’t want that.”

Me: “If you don’t “want that” use your own money and go to Subway.”

Kid: “NO! I don’t want to waste my money on that! You’re supposed to feed me.”

Me: (Face getting red) Please leave the room. This discussion is over.”

Kid: “Thanks a lot! You don’t even feed me!”

May: $#&%*@%&$*@&!%#

I am sure we all remember the day when we first realized our mom’s flaws and she really doesn’t know what the fuck she is doing. I remember that day, when I first “saw” my mom without the rose-colored glasses. We all remember when our mom says stuff that makes us cringe. When you realize that she is funny-looking when she is angry and you want to laugh because she looks funny, but you know she’s angry…that realization.

I noticed my mom’s humanness in about 6th grade (same as my daughter, awesome, good times.) I was at school wearing my brown “weskit” uniform vest when I discovered my little brother’s brown socks were static-clung to the inside of my vest. Later on that day, my mom brought my lunch to school for the 45th time that year and finally my classmate asked me, “how come your mom always brings your lunch to school late?”  I never even considered this as weird until someone pointed it out. Then the little realities continued to trickle in and I gradually realized my parents were frauds.

I remembered this “weskit” incident this past Tuesday when I didn’t check the hot lunch schedule and realized that morning my kids did not have lunches; AND we had zero food for them to make their own lunch. They outlandishly claim they told me the night before.

I went to the doctor straight after drop off in the clothes I slept in to get urgent meds for a UTI. I then dragged myself to target to get food, threw it in their lunch boxes and hobbled to the school entrance. Usually when I have had to do this countless times over the years, I am buzzed right in. Not Today.

This time, when I rang the bell, the woman at the front desk said over the intercom outside, “Can I help you?” She didn’t even recognize me! I assume she thought I was some homeless lunatic; not that I blame her. She even asked me my last name and kids names. Huh? Doncha know may?

This incident triggered the downward spiral of me screwing up over and over every few minutes: at work, at home, at school, with my kids, with my friends, and with my family. It was as if I turned into Mr. Bean overnight, again! Everything I touched, said or did turned to shit. #theshittouch

Which you know how that goes; the more you think about it, the more it happens. I could not snap out of it.

Today was exceptionally brutal and I could not even consider anything I usually do to end this tailspin of humiliation.I wanted to blame someone for the self-created web of hell I got myself into. I woke up late, I made about 700 mistakes before noon, was tardy for every patient appointment (I mean how can every ramp be closed at once on 90/94?) and all I could think about was crawling back into bed and hiding under the covers.

This fantasy was interrupted when my daughter called because I did not pick them up from school. I knew I wouldn’t be able to, BUT I forgot to arrange a ride. Then I receive a text about something I volunteered for at school which I had no recollection of until that moment. For the love of God! Please leave MAY alone!

I sheepishly go see another patient, (husband and wife married 60 years, who primarily speak Ukranian and Russian; they insist on not using a translator. They say “We want to try to speak to you in your language.”)I was ready to thank them for their patience with my inadequacy. Instead, I am greeted with a hug and exclaimed, “We are so glad to see you!”

(I turn around thinking there was someone else behind me.)

They continue, “We are very happy! This is a big day in our country!”

They both describe why they are so happy, adorably, in their accents and broken English about Victory Day. I am ashamed to admit that I did not know what they were referring to.

Wife: “In your country, May 8th, 1945, the war over. On May 9th, 1945.. the war over in my country. I remember I was so happy. It was so long. I was four years old when war started, my parents tell me we must move to Siberia. It was so cold there. Me, my brothers and sisters would lay down on the floor with head in knees, so scared, hearing planes. My mother would hide bread high up so we not find it and give us a tiny piece once a day. We so hungry, we beg my mom everyday for more. We were so cold. We were so scared.” Tears glaze over her eyes, her husband holds her arm. My eyes well up now. “My husband, he had to go to Siberia too and wait for war to be over, not us together (she laughs nervously), but he had to do same.”

Husband: “Yes. Excuse me. I go. Same.” (He Shakes head, becomes choked up.)

Wife: “So every year, this day, we are very happy. We thanks God. We hear on the radio, war over, my mother, my father, my brothers, sisters, we hug, we cry, we thanks God. We can go home. We remember everyone who die.” She holds her hand to her chest, does sign of the cross and looks up.

Husband: “Excuse me. We want you to have this. We are happy you and your family do not have to have war. Please. Take. We happy today.” (He says excuse me before he says anything in english, it’s so cute!)

Culturally, it is very rude not to accept gifts in their country and they insist on giving me European chocolate after each visit. Today was, well, above and beyond. I imagine if I refuse to take it, he may react the same way the Ukrainian man in the Seinfeld episode reacts to the game of risk when Kramer refers to the Ukraine as “weak”.

ukraine gif

This Seinfeld clip of the Ukraine makes me laugh, finally. I walk to my car holding candy, feeling humble, grateful, tearful and smiling. That visit knocked me right out of my tailspin. I thought about her mother, in fucking Siberia (for real) for three years! I thought about her trying to keep her family alive and having to give her kids a quarter slice of bread per day.  I thought about the guilt she felt when her children complained of being terrified, hungry, bored, and cold every day for three years. Now that is some real motherhood struggles right there. I feel foolish now for even being stressed. None of it matters.

I am back to loving life while being a jack ass. 

I thanks God too.

All the stuff I was dealing with is nonsense.

It’s Insignificant.

It’s Motherhood.

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And Justin Timberlake…he’s a bad ass.

Justin

And the Ukraine is sure as hell not weak.

https://youtu.be/lZfJ1ZP3Ywg

 

 

 

#freedom, Find A Way

JUMP! (Not just Jump Around) I

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

Working my ASS off at the gym and consuming the American“healthy diet” yet staying the same. “The Same” meaning the scale not moving, uncomfortable, body aches, joint pain, tired all the time, irritable, living on caffeine, not sleeping, overthinking, headaches, worrying, and burnt out.

For 20 years I kept trying to figure it out myself. Trial and error…over and over. Trying something else, buying a new product, doing a new fad, not eating carbs, signing up for new place, researching for answers…. When it didn’t work again, I would get discouraged, and want to give up. I was tired of failing, going back to my old ways, saying it’s too hard, complaining, assuming I can’t afford anything that works, using genetics as an excuse.🙈

I was sick of accepting “being fine” but driven because I was sick of feeling like crap.

I wasted so much time, money, energy instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something I never did.

I can’t change the past, BUT I CAN change my future.

The day I turned 40, my mom had a stroke (literally she had a stroke the night of my birthday wtf) at the age of 59! FIFTY-NINE! I remember thinking FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKKK THIS.

It wasn’t just a wake up call for her …but for me as well.

I had to admit that I did not know everything and obviously what I’m doing is NOT WORKING. My continuing to try to “figure it out” kept me stuck. My trying to “feel prepared” and “feel motivated” kept me in a never ending cycle; the knowledge-action gap.

Instead of doing what I have always done, I did something I never did…

I let go of fear, judgement, control and got out of my own way.

Instead of making excuses, reasons and justifications if why it won’t work, why “I can’t” ...I JUMPED.

I don’t know why, but you have to say YES and JUMP for it to work. I suppose that is what is meant by taking a A LEAP of Faith…

Once you JUMP, you DON’T HAVE A CHOICE but to make it happen! I finally understood what was meant by “burning the bridge” or “burning the boats”. Once you are there, you burn your way back; hence having no choice but to figure out the new situation and deal with it.

Excuse #1: “I can’t afford it.” Solution: I started by picking up an extra shift a week. Since I did not want to work more-or on weekends-but I also didn’t want to stay STUCK…it forced me to:

Stop procrastinating about doing things I needed to do!

Excuse #2 “I dont have time.” Put the work in for the things that could save time in the long run.

You discover where money every disappears every month; those damn monthly subscriptions for “only $7.99 a month” adds up.(I can’t remember all if them but they were those tedious tasks that you just have to do! (Such as making the phone call to AT&T wireless and tell them I am going to cancel because bill is too high and magically they cut the bill in half. We just have to suck it up, sit on hold and DO IT.

(Dance while you are on hold:)

AN example👇🏻:

Time & Money Suckers:

💸I temporarily gave up social media, Facebook, & watching the news- I deleted the apps from my phone 💸

💸I canceled my cable (we had tons of channels but all we watch is Netflix, amazon prime and ESPN)💸

💸I made the call and got Netflix covered by T-mobile 💸

💸I set up the app on my phone from the library to get FREE audiobooks, FREE kindle books instead of buying books💸 (App is called Libby)

💸I would take out audiobooks, books, CDS and movies from the library instead of buying music and on demand movies💸

💸I started meal prepping for the week on a day off or evening instead of buying breakfast, snacks, lunch & dinner at work which were totaling $8-$12 a day💸

💸I stopped buying coffee in the morning from Starbucks or Dunkin💸

💸I stopped going out to eat and getting fast food -I told my kids once a week on fridays, IF they were good all week (Usually they were not-cha ching)😂

💸I started going to Aldi first before Mariano’s/Jewel/Trader joes and spent a little extra time grocery shopping, looking at sale papers, making lists (I did this at work when I had downtime)- then taking pic of list so I don’t forget it at home 😂

💸I canceled my gym membership at LA fitness $37 a month & charter fitness $10 =$47 a month and did DVDS at home (and now Beachbody on demand $8 a month) 💸

💸I bought weights at five below instead of target or Dicks 💸

💸I canceled iTunes monthly💸

💸I canceled satellite radio and did free podcasts💸

💸Linked my citi card to amazon so my points could be used for amazon purchases 💸

Then I had the money to make the change I needed.💰

Eventually, this lead to figuring out how valuable my time is …

Find.A.WAY.

Any complaint you have, pay attention to the reason you use to justify it. There is your EXCUSE.

Whatever your reason is, that is your excuse.

P.S. I love House of Pain’s Jump Around song and I go nuts whenever it comes on…HOWEVER who wants to be a one hit wonder…When you can Be.A.Legend👇🏻like this guy. #vanhalen #davidleeroth

#stopsayingtomorrow

#priorities

#prioritiesfirst

#cleaneating

#fitnessresults

#sayingyes

#theslightedge

#fitness

#freedom, Health & Wellness, migraine relief

When your head feels like it’s going to explode…

Headaches and migraines SUCK! Here are some solutions I’ve researched and tried over the last 30 years🙈.

My son had migraine cycling vomiting syndrome since age 4 where he would get a migraine and throw up for about 3-4 days every July and February. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I only noticed pattern because it was around 4th of July and Superbowl. Pediatrician recommended neurologist. We Did a food elimination diet and allergy testing with him. He is allergic to egg whites and seasonal stuff. He is not allergic to dairy per the test, however dairy and nitrates triggered migraines.

He has been seeing this neurologist since age 6 and has been prescribed cyproheptadine. He is 15 now and pretty much migraine free- he still takes the medicine but his dosage has stated same. Neurologist name: Priti Singh, MD 1 (630) 230-3372.

Why do a food elimination diet: Our body adapts to whatever we are eating everyday because it has to. Taking a break for 30 days removes this adaptation from your system so when you re-introduce the food, your body reacts. This helps you identify the trigger and then you can avoid the symptoms in the future by not consuming this food. Example: I used to eat ice cream and cheese like it was going out of style. I craved it. I never had any “immediate” symptoms.

Then I tried eliminating it for 30 days (I went into a cheese withdrawal depression for real). I was not expecting any changes (also hoping). I was shocked!

I noticed my joints were more flexible and I didn’t even realize I was walking like Frankenstein when I woke up in the morning until I stopped dairy. After about 10 days dairy free, I felt limber/not as achey/stiff. Now dairy triggers a migraine for me within hour or two. Dairy also triggers asthmatic episodes, congestion, sinus headaches and more frequent sinus infections, clogged ears.

Life is hard without cheese but it’s not even worth it to eat it with how bad I felt. Now dairy free ice cream and cheese exist- getting better! Some gluten free stuff is better than the regular!

Headache/Migraine preventative tips:

1. Sounds so simple but Make sure you stay hydrated. Right when you wake up drink at least 12oz water, warm or room temp best, but cold fine too. Drink 8-12 oz every hour. Set reminder on your phone. Coffee and other caffeine products dehydrate you so you have to drink more water. For Every 8oz coffee=12 oz water.

2. Keep a food journal and log migraines or headaches. You may notice a pattern with a food that could be triggering migraines: nitrates, sulfites, MSG, chocolate, aged cheeses

3. Complete a food elimination diet-Go Dairy free for 30 days and note daily how you feel. When you reintroduce dairy you may notice symptoms you did not know you had.

4. Food elimination diet- Gluten: After you complete dairy elimination /Go gluten free for 30 days and note symptoms. (Same as above). Then try eliminating other foods like eggs, chocolate, soy, aged meats and cheeses which have sulfates and nitrates. etc.

5. Use a Neti-pot with saline packets after the shower every day to remove pollen and particles that fester in your nasal cavity. Migraines begin in the sinuses usually.

Also if you have allergies-taking Sudafed or an antihistamine like Benadryl at night helps and also nasal sprays like Flo-base. Naturally based nasal spray – spray saline or zicam. https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/productlist/zicam-adult-cold-remedies/N=361457-2772

6. Use a crossbody purse- heavy bags on shoulders affect neck and shoulders- and trigger tension.

7. If you over 21 😉 – alcohol also dehydrates you. Wine has sulfites that trigger migraines. Beer has histamines – google those.

8. Yoga/Pilates-Stretches your back and neck to prevent tension, encourages breathing. You may not even notice that you hold your breath. People who have anxiety hold their breath, not enough oxygen=migraine trigger.

9. Again Stay hydrated- Dehydration biggest trigger for migraines/headaches. If you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated. A low calorie super hydration is Nuun tablets They are sold at target, dick’s, amazon. I drink one tablet with a 24-36 ounces of water right when I wake up.

10. Eliminate: Fake sugar aspartame from your life found in diet colas etc. COLAS are the biggest trigger for muscle tension.

11. Avoid perfumes and heavy fragrances -big trigger for migraine. (Unfortunately Bath & Body works for me= 🤮 😵)

12. Meditate: 10-20 minutes daily- use noise canceling headphones and listen to guided meditation podcasts, white noise machine and just breathe etc to help

13. Supplement with magnesium rich and omega foods:Some of the best food sources of magnesium are:organic leafy greens- spinach/chard•Figs•avocados•bananas•dark chocolate•nuts and seeds•mackerel, tuna, and Pollock fish •low-fat yogurt or kefir•black beans and lentils

14. Supplements like: CoQ10 150 mg-300 mg daily, Iron (especially during period) and Vitamin B12 regularly could help prevent.

15. This sounds coo coo- I know but Pay attention to barometric pressure- sudden drops or rises in barometric pressure (like sudden temperature changes, when it’s about to rain, etc) is a big trigger for migraines….***the weather app Displays the pressure daily.

Weather changes: This is something out of your control so this is when you should just take Advil or your prescription (sumatriptan generic for Imitrex is usually covered by insurance) before you have a headache/migraine. Getting ahead of the pain prevents a massive blow up that takes hours to go away.

16. Hormonal changes is a huge trigger for migraines so take Advil, magnesium, Vitamin D, B-stress complex when you are PMSING. Drink 100oz of water daily.

17. Get rid of your cleaning supplies such as bleach – or strong scented products and use More naturally derived cleaning products like Meyer. Norwex cloths which use silver technology and water to kill 99.9 % of germs. Melalueca has a disinfectant called solu-guard that kills 99.9% of bacteria without the harmful fumes and respiratory distress.

18. Get tested by an allergist so you are aware what you are allergic to, then if you know what season, you will be proactive by taking antihistamine. Example: Ragweed in the fall is brutal – so I take Benadryl or Lortadine (Claritin) every night during fall.

19. Wash sheets in hot water every two weeks to kill dust mites and remove pollen and other allergens (sometimes fragrance in fabric softener or detergents cause migraines). Unfortunately keep windows closed during the allergy season

20. Swimming sometimes helps-the cold water, getting heart and respiratory rate up is sometimes what you need even if you do not feel like it.

If none of above work:

21. See an Acupuncturist monthly- acupuncturists use trigger points that can remove migraine/headache immediately, release stress, pressure and get the “Qi” (chi) flowing again.

22. Chiropractor consult -some insurances even cover massages while performed in a chiropractor office. TMJ from teeth grinding also a big trigger for migraines. This dental guard helps you stop grinding your back teeth and clenching jaw:Dental Guard SMARTGUARD ELITE (2… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XXRSFKC?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

When you already have a migraine:

When you already have a headache/migraine:

1. When you feel the tension starting to build or sudden onset or migraine aura, example: see floaters etc. Take Advil, Aleve or the prescription sumatriptan immediately 👇🏻 The earlier you take it, the faster it will go away.

2.Source Naturals Ultra-Mag High-Efficiency Magnesium Complex – Maintains Muscle & Nerve Function – 120 Tablets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00020I91A/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MMZ4WTK54EM1XAW7E60M?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Garden of Life Dr. Formulated… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079D3X1Z3?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

3. Lay down in dark room- see pressure points link below: https://pin.it/mtrk652cm4mitz

4. Diffuse peppermint oil and also mix 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops lavender oil •2 drops frankincense in your facial lotion or tbsp of refined (I scented)coconut oil and put over temples, behind ears, earlobes, forehead, neck, park of neck where meets skull, cheeks next to nose and along nose

5. Put two tennis balls in a sock and lay on them at areas of trigger points, mainly behind neck where neck meets skull

6. Alternate Ice pack wrapped in towel over eyebrows, top of head and neck – hold it there as long as tolerated

7. 20 minute Hot bath with epsom salt, couple drops lavender, eucalyptus, camphor and peppermint oil. Let hot water run on your head. Also you can sit on side of tub with hands and feet in the hot water with ice pack on neck or frozen peas. Or take steamy shower or bath with: JOHNSON’S Soothing Vapor Bath 15 oz (Pack of 3) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IAI90G8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_hu8HCbT85F

8. Immediately after hot bath- do netipot with ice cold water – might be painful but it clears and constructs sinus cavities which triggers migraines

9. Drink Pedialyte – small amounts every 15 minutes-especially if you are vomiting.

10. Coffee & black tea also good for migraines because caffeine constricts blood vessels but caffeine withdrawal also triggers migraines so make sure you drink 12 ounces of extra water for every cup of coffee/tea consumed.

11. Make rollerball vial with 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops of eucalyptus oil •2 drops frankincense and mix carrier oil such as coconut oil, grape seed oil etc. Roll on temples, eyebrows, behind ears, neck,

12. Make frozen washcloths: Mix one cup of water & 1/4 cup alcohol: 2 drops peppermint oil•2 drops of eucalyptus oil •2 drops frankincense and mix

13. If you don’t like essentials oils: You can use Biofreeze on neck, behind ears etc. The roller is awesome.

14. When all else fails: ICE CREAM or sorbet-You can usually keep it down and the cold helps with migraine. Coffee ice cream and they have tons of dairy free ice cream now!

15. Sounds weird but chicken soup or MISO soup (at Japanese restaurants) helps, the heat/steam helps clear sinuses and the live cultures do something

16. I know coke or cherry coke can remove rust off cars so imagine what it does to your insides. HOWEVER, sometimes it’s the only cure so if you have to get a fountain one from McDonald’s 😂 just drink enough water after to compensate for caffeine

Resources:

Follow this Pinterest board:

https://pin.it/3YwBCdO

Heal Your Headache https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761125663?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Biofreeze Pain Relief Gel, 4 oz…. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007ECFNQS?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Dental Guard SMARTGUARD ELITE (2… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XXRSFKC?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

#freedom, Women's Fight

PYRAMID BITCHES

The self-doubt is always there, but my WHY keeps me from listening most of the time.

However, yesterday was one of those days where I was “in my head” and unable to ignore that innate critic that lives in my brain.

The inner voice was louder than usual,

“You should quit”

“No one cares”

“Who are you to think you can make a difference”

“I can’t do it all”

“I can’t work, take care of myself and be a good mom.”

“I should give up”

“That’s a stupid idea.”

“That’s not going to work”

“you will never afford that”

“Maybe I am doing too much”

“You aren’t good enough yet”

“Maybe I should wait until I’m better”.

Which all equals, I SUCK.

I caught myself all slumped over at my desk working, dejected with a pathetic self-pitying expression on my face.

I moped to my mailbox expecting more “stuff I gotta take care of” (wah wah). Perhaps another red light violation ticket from Crestwood Police Department for turning right on a red light. Instead, I received a letter from a friend from high school, (how exciting right!? Real mail not just bills!) who was one of my Beachbody customers, previous challenge group winners and my first Rodan and Fields customer. These two journals (pictured) were inside.

When I thanked her, this badass replied that when she saw them, she thought of ME! Then she actually took action on her thought and actually followed through and mailed them to me! (How many times do we think of doing something and then hesitate or don’t take the time to do it?)

I was shocked she thought of ME? I’m nobody, I’m just another girl from the Southside of Chicago.

In reality, ME = YOU and we are all equal. We are all doing the best that we can with what we know and what we have. WE are like every other woman in this world. We possess something incredible to offer to the world, each other and our families. When we all support each other=everybody wins.

To me, this tiny, unexpected gift is a value of an entire years income in terms of fulfillment. Incredible moments and words like this make this roller coaster all worth it.

This was a priceless reminder that:

Success is not about your circumstances, it’s about who you’re being. Jen Sincero -author of You are a Bad Ass

It is a reminder about who I am being and what I stand for. I stand for empowering women to empower themselves, recognize their worth, their power, find their strength, and I live that congruently everyday. I stand for men who respect women, our power, and our strength. I stand for men who can embrace what we bring to the table which may not always mean an equal paycheck.

I stand for women to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about themselves without waiting for someone to compliment them for it to mean anything. I stand for women to take action on what they want for themselves without guilt or asking permission. I stand for women taking the initiative to do something for themselves without waiting or being dependent on anyone else. I stand for inner power, confidence and teams/groups to empower support and success.

I stand for dedication, consistency, hard work, and commitment which equals results. What do you stand for?

Post below

#Beyourself, #freedom, #landmarkforum, #opportunity, #rodanandfields, #sidehustle, Uncategorized, vulnerability, Women's Fight

Saying YES

Remember that story about the guy trapped in a flood on his rooftop and he begs God to save him?  First a man in a rowboat shows up and shouts “Jump in, I can save you!” The says “No, its okay, I am waiting for God to save me.”

Then a guy in a motorboat (that motorboatin sonofabitch)  shows up and says “Jump in, I can save you…”

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The guy declines again and says “NO, its okay, I am waiting for God to save me.”

Lastly, a guy in a helicopter shows up. The guy on the rooftop remained stuck in his faith, beliefs and expectations; gracefully refuses. He answers “I am waiting for God to save me”.

Alas, the guy drowns. When he arrives in heaven, he angrily exclaims to God, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, YOU let me drown! I don’t understand WHY!

God replied. “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat (built for speed and comfort), and a helicopter. What more did you expect? God shakes his head and walks away whispering “dumbass” under his breath…

What did the guy expect? God himself to show up? He’s a busy guy. He sent his peeps to do his work. This guy clung on to his EXPECTATIONS instead of saying YES to opportunity.

Once you begin to look at everything as an opportunity, things in your life can begin to change; if you are smart enough to say yes. An opportunity could be a friend inviting you to lunch or to go out, an acquaintance asking you to come to a conference, a free seminar, or an exercise class. What happens is we hesitate; we start thinking. (#melrobbins) We start finding reasons why we shouldn’t or finding excuses to stay stuck. To stay SAFE.

Our brains are designed to keep us safe so if there is any kind of perceived risk, our brains respond to it. Our brains cannot decipher the risk, it can only respond to how we react. Our brains functioned exceptionally when we were non-verbal Neanderthal’s whose only existence was to procreate, hunt, gather and survive. The human brain’s “safe mode” allowed people to survive epidemics, wars, the holocaust, and countless other tragedies.

If you are fortunate to have your basic needs met (oxygen, water, food, shelter, adequate clothing, electricity, heat, running water, WIFI, a smart phone etc.) and you are physically safe; the brain prefers you stay that way.  When you step out of your “comfort zone”, the brain reacts to protect you; this is what causes you to hesitate.

“Hoping a situation will get better is not a strategy.” John Maxwell

Stepping out of your comfort zone could mean waking up a half hour earlier to jump start your day, not hitting the snooze button, doing an exercise you have never done, eating foods you have never tried, being real, being honest, not pretending, not reacting to the guilt trip your kids are trying to manipulate you with, speaking up in a meeting, standing up for someone, taking action in a situation that feels wrong, helping someone, putting yourself out there, doing something you have never done, physically taking action on something you want to change.

In reference to Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, The Man in the Arena…All of the above are examples “BEING in the arena.” (Debating with someone on social media about politics does not count-having social media balls is called sitting in the stands of the arena.:)

When you want something, you think about it, you speak about it, the universe responds. The universe has your back. It starts to work to bring you what you want. Unfortunately, many of us believe it should be “exactly” how we imagined or expected. However, we may not be ready for what we want and the next step in the journey shows up. Ever hear TRUST THE PROCESS?

If you keep talking about why you keep dating losers, how shitty your job is, how useless your significant other is or how broke you are; the universe will keep bringing you that as well.

An example could be when you are stuck in a rut, you believe your life is a mess, you have mountains of laundry, you look awful blah blah blah and a friend texts you to go to free class or meet for coffee or a drink. This is where you SAY YES.

When you want financial freedom, you may hope or expect to receive an inheritance, settlement or win the lottery; yet stay at a job you are miserable at. This expectation may enable you to not look for other options, ignore an idea you have, get a side hustle or even turn down a different job offer. It could even be a friend inviting you to a presentation or conference that could inspire or empower you. Instead you SAY YES to what has presented itself to you.

When you want to lose weight, have more energy or feel better, you may expect some kind of quick fix, magic pill or a surgery to do the work for you. Instead the universe may send you a friend inviting you to go a free exercise class, a stranger asking you to join an fitness/accountability group or you ignore the inner voice telling you to make that doctor appointment. You may do what you have always done and say no because you “don’t have the money, don’t have the time.” SAY YES.

You may long to be in a loving, fun and fulfilling relationship and you have expectations, opinions and false premises of what you think this is “supposed to feel like” and what this person is “supposed” to look like. The scenarios are endless with this one. The universe knows where you are at and is sending you individuals or situations to prepare you for what you do want. SAY YES.

Take Risks. Let go of Expectations. Don’t be a dumb ass. If you are, learn from it. Find the message in the mess.

No one is coming to save you!

God helps those who helps themselves.

#Beyourself, #greatpretender, #landmarkforum, #simonsinek, Badassery, vulnerability

The Great Pretender

“We live in a world where we don’t say what we are thinking and feeling, we say what we think other people want to hear.” Kyle Cease

When I published my book last year, I was petrified what people would think. I assumed I would be judged and that is why it took me so long to just do it. I actually lost my entire book at one point because I did not back it up to a zip drive and the laptop crashed. I attempted to re-write it, eliminating parts that may make people uncomfortable; however the same story played in my head again the same way as I wrote it the second time.

To me, my book is JUST A STORY. It is a story I created in my head with some true and untrue things. I changed a lot of my story because…I can. My past cannot define who I am. I wrote from the heart, I wrote my from soul, and I wrote whatever popped in my head regardless if it made sense, really happened or who I thought of when I wrote it. If I wrote exactly what happened with an outline and bullet points; I may have lost connection to the reader.

I have had many people provide feedback like “I could not put it down” or “I was reading non-stop and then something happened and I stopped.” etc. I believe the people who “could not put it down” are the ones who read it as “just a story”. The ones who stopped and  “got stuck” seem to be the ones who know me very well and “get stuck” just like the protagonist in the story did. They began to try and find the facts, figure out what is true and what isn’t, and feel those feelings so personally that it became too painful, uncomfortable, overwhelming, exciting, infuriating, invigorating, sad or humiliating.

Either way, it is a compliment.

I have never felt like I belonged anywhere because I’ve always said what I meant, felt or thought. Many times people were offended or viewed my words as a weakness, stupid or my honesty blunt or abrasive.

Therefore, I viewed myself as weak, weird and that I did not fit in. Oddly, once I completed my book, my past seemed to stop defining me. Perhaps because I faced it, embraced it and moved on; I realized that the past can be changed and it truly is just a story. I found it to be very therapeutic being real, raw and honest.

There is nothing more attractive to me than someone who speaks the truth about their emotions or thoughts. If you are a guy on a first date and feeling nervous AF, say “I am thinking so hard of something to good to say” or  “I am nervous AF”. That is SEXY AF to me. If you play the “cool card” and behave aloof, distant and stand offish (dickish); then you may attract the same person who finds this attractive because they also are not being themselves.

Instead of talking about some lame weather comment in an elevator, say what you think or feel “elevator rides are always so awkward aren’t they?”

The definition of “Stand off” is a situation in which neither of two opposing groups or forces will make a move until the other one does something, so nothing can happen until one of them gives away;  a stalemate

If people keep “pretending” to be themselves then there is a deadlock and intimacy can never happen. “Pretending” to be happy. “Pretending” to be fine. I attended a conference called THE LANDMARK FORUM this weekend and it was a mind-blowing experience. This Forum brings a new meaning to “BEING YO SELF”. Trust me, everyone should go!

It seems like I can now see ….clearly. Human interaction makes so much more sense. Of course a movie popped in my head that portrays exactly what happens. (This is an example from the movie Swingers.)

Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.
Trent: But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, maybe I’ll wait 3 weeks. How’s that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I’ll ask her where I met her. I don’t remember. What does she look like? And then I’ll asked if we fucked. Is that… would that be… T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who’s ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

In Swingers, the entire movie Mike is struggling with a break up and listening to his friends about how to act in the dating scene and “bag some beautiful babies”. He’s awkward, uncomfortable and does not fit in the whole movie. His two buddies say what they think everyone wants to hear and they are bagging chics non-stop (who are also pretending). Finally at the end, Mike meets a girl who is also going through a break up. They are both honest, real, awkward but their chemistry explodes. Mike whips out some ballroom swing dancing at the end leaving his “great pretender” buddies mind-blown and jaws dropped open.

img_3942

In the moment, we are always feeling something so if you say what you are feeling, another person may respond like “I know what that feels like” and connect with you. When you feel one way, but pretend to be another way, this mixed signal will have others put their walls up and pretend too.

Say what you FEEL. Say what you MEAN. MEAN what YOU SAY. Be REAL. Be AUTHENTIC. Be YOU.

#brenebrown, #greatpretender, #homeschoolingrealshit, #opportunity, #sidehustle, Find A Way, parenting struggles, Uncategorized, Women's Fight, Yoga Pants

My Brain Is Oatmeal

I was home (in between jobs 😜)from January 12th-March 6th. Sounds awesome right? However about after a month and not having money (because not working kinda limits all the “fun things” and “projects” you want to do while off.)

I have found it doesn’t take much to throw off your momentum and routine. I believe sick kids is literally the #1 routine- sabotager for moms. Somehow shit is everywhere, you are trapped at home and eventually you have to give in at some point.

Just throw in the towel and watch movies with your sick child who requires hourly snacks and drinks. (Ironically they never eat this much when they are well.) Then of course, mom succumbs to the illness, further jacking up the routine for another week or two.

Then the “getting back on track” phase begins, where you want to jump back into action, however you have mountains of crap to catch up on and clean because the sick child’s stuff is all over. Finally after about three days, you are ready to get back to your “routine”.

My “routine”…After I get the kids to school and calm down from the morning rage of screaming at each other to get going; I do the morning dishes. I wipe the counter and table, which leads to scrubbing the stove, and then washing floor in the kitchen. Let’s be real, cooking real dinners are messy AF and since I was “off”, making real dinners, not chicken nuggets or pizza, was expected. Reasoning: I am off work, I should be able to start dinner. Hence, “Should.”

I am an unintentional slob while cooking. I leave cabinets open, I always over boil pasta and get the filmy stain on the stove. Most of the stuff I chop ends up on the floor, and I have like 15 different seasonings and ingredients on the counter. I’m like an OCD person’s worst nightmare.

I move on to the laundry and find myself frustrated about the baskets of unmatching socks mixed with items the kids barely wore and putting it in the wash. I sit on the floor attempting to match my daughters 17 pairs of socks in various colors, that are “almost the same” color but not quite. I cuss and then realize I also have many different colored socks that require matching and curse myself for being me. When I start becoming euphoric when I find a sock match, I know it’s time for me to get a life and do something else. I stand up feeling old AF because my hips and knees ache from siting like that so long.

I decide to take a break from the maddening sock-matching battle, get out of the house and take an exercise class. When I arrive home, I’m starving and thirsty so then I ponder about what to make that is the least messy to clean up. While I’m thinking, I mindlessly eat some donkey chips or nuts. Once I make something, I clean up again, try to figure out what to make for dinner and I’m now exhausted.

I aim to take a “meditation nap” while listening to headphones by 1pm before I shower and pick the kids up. I wake up to my alarm at 2:00pm and check my texts, somehow I’m on some article on Social media and 30 minutes goes by. Son of a… so no shower…again.

I’m getting headaches frequently, probably from dehydration because I keep forgetting to drink water. None of my clothes fit except yoga pants. I have no energy to walk in addition to my workouts. I am barely hitting 5000 steps on my Fitbit. I have forgotten two appointments and like 6 of my kids practices already because I didn’t put it in my calendar. My house is being consumed by clutter and randomness, and the sad thing is, I don’t even care. However, I do begin caring about dumb shit and worrying like “my friend didn’t text me back, is she mad at me?”

I noticed the universal intervention while I kept procrastinating about cleaning my bathroom. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Until one fateful day, in the middle of washing my face and my daughter asked me something. I dried my face , went to help her and brought kids to school. When I arrive home, I discover the back room floor wet. “Damn kids, what the hell?” I think. Until I go upstairs and realize I left the sink running the entire time. Now I really have to clean my bathroom. Declutter and throw away tons of crap that should’ve been gone years ago.

Fast Forward: Start job March 6th.

•Have to wake up at 4:20am in order to get everything done and leave a time-window open for my scatterbrain-ness•

Below is all that I accomplished:

  • •Exercise•Shower•Get dressed•Wake kids•Make them breakfast•Ensure they are ready and brush their teeth to eliminate dragon breath before I leave•(why don’t kids care these days about not being the smelly kid).
  • The Night before all this is ready: Kids lunches/snacks/water•Meal prep my lunch/snacks•Run dishwasher•Laundry•kids uniforms/shoes/socks all ready•(the cursed sock and shoe search is the biggest daily time sucker).•Lay out my workout clothes (with socks and shoes)•Pick out work clothes including underwear, bra, socks and shoes (I am just as bad as my kids, who am I kidding?)•
  • Leave for train at 6:35am.
  • Hall ass 25 minutes in the cold to my building
  • I eat the food I brought with me.
  • I drink tons of water, probably 20 ounces an hour without thinking about it.
  • I get 10,000+ steps in by halling ass back to the train station.
  • No naps,
  • Home by 5:30

It continues…

•Make dinner•Clock in as an unpaid Uber driver and cart kids from school extended day, games and practices•No missed practices because I put everything my calendar immediately upon receiving the coach’s email•I keep on the kids about putting their crap away•I hold kids accountable to get their shit ready for the morning•No guilt•

Repeat.

Notice the difference? Now it is clear and concise like a fucking resume. Lots of Action Words.

No bullshit.

It’s all done. No elaboration, no details.

It’s completed because it has to be.

I don’t have a choice.

There’s no time to think.

No time to procrastinate.

I have to just do it.

The less time you have, the less time you waste.